Comic Transcripts

[[A shady-looking computer repair technician is investigating a bluescreened computer, while a confused user looks on.]]
Technician: Well, HERE’S your problem. Your Windows mainframe hasn’t been updated in so long, you’re starting to see a lot of FIREWIRE around the modem pins.

User: Is that… bad?
Technician: It’s pretty serious. Your dongle’s totally rebooted. Might need to reblog it in a tumblr.
Technician: I can try redditing your drive disks. Were you backing up your processor?

User: I’m… not sure… someone always took care of that for us.
Technician: Problem is, we’re on Web 2.0 now, and you’re still running 1.6. Have been for some time.
Technician: 1.6!!

User: Is that not good?
Technician: Well, in layman’s terms, you’ve heard of cookies? YOURS have gone HARD.
Technician: Don’t really work as SOFTWARE anymore, heh heh heh
User: Uh, HA HA HA

Technician: I may need to defragment the whole disqus, and THAT unfortunately ain’t cheap.
Technician: You really need to be changing the spam filter every 3,000 pagviews. Yours is FULL of webcrawlers.

[[A coupon for “Snake Coil Computer Maintenance” is displayed, with the motto “WE find the problems the competition hasn’t even HEARD of”. The coupon is good for “20% off any rebuilt startup accelerator”.]]

{{header: fix up your WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Take this thing back to Gateway, and you’re talkin at least four grand for them to bleed the cache. Me, I’d do it for ya for twenty five hunnerd}}

#1117; The Computer Mechanic transcribed by in

[[A shady-looking computer repair technician is investigating a bluescreened computer, while a confused user looks on.]]
Technician: Well, HERE’S your problem. Your Windows mainframe hasn’t been updated in so long, you’re starting to see a lot of FIREWIRE around the modem pins.

User: Is that… bad?
Technician: It’s pretty serious. Your dongle’s totally rebooted. Might need to reblog it in a tumblr.
Technician: I can try redditing your drive disks. Were you backing up your processor?

User: I’m… not sure… someone always took care of that for us.
Technician: Problem is, we’re on Web 2.0 now, and you’re still running 1.6. Have been for some time.
Technician: 1.6!!

User: Is that not good?
Technician: Well, in layman’s terms, you’ve heard of cookies? YOURS have gone HARD.
Technician: Don’t really work as SOFTWARE anymore, heh heh heh
User: Uh, HA HA HA

Technician: I may need to defragment the whole disqus, and THAT unfortunately ain’t cheap.
Technician: You really need to be changing the spam filter every 3,000 pagviews. Yours is FULL of webcrawlers.

[[A coupon for “Snake Coil Computer Maintenance” is displayed, with the motto “WE find the problems the competition hasn’t even HEARD of”. The coupon is good for “20% off any rebuilt startup accelerator”.]]

{{header: fix up your WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Take this thing back to Gateway, and you’re talkin at least four grand for them to bleed the cache. Me, I’d do it for ya for twenty five hunnerd}}

#1117; The Computer Mechanic transcribed by in

[[A shady-looking computer repair technician is investigating a bluescreened computer, while a confused user looks on.]]
Technician: Well, HERE'S your problem. Your Windows mainframe hasn't been updated in so long, you're starting to see a lot of FIREWIRE around the modem pins.

User: Is that... bad?
Technician: It's pretty serious. Your dongle's totally rebooted. Might need to reblog it in a tumblr.
Technician: I can try redditing your drive disks. Were you backing up your processor?

User: I'm... not sure... someone always took care of that for us.
Technician: Problem is, we're on Web 2.0 now, and you're still running 1.6. Have been for some time.
Technician: 1.6!!

User: Is that not good?
Technician: Well, in layman's terms, you've heard of cookies? YOURS have gone HARD.
Technician: Don't really work as SOFTWARE anymore, heh heh heh
User: Uh, HA HA HA

Technician: I may need to defragment the whole disqus, and THAT unfortunately ain't cheap.
Technician: You really need to be changing the spam filter every 3,000 pagviews. Yours is FULL of webcrawlers.

[[A coupon for "Snake Coil Computer Maintenance" is displayed, with the motto "WE find the problems the competition hasn't even HEARD of". The coupon is good for "20% off any rebuilt startup accelerator".]]

{{header: fix up your WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Take this thing back to Gateway, and you're talkin at least four grand for them to bleed the cache. Me, I'd do it for ya for twenty five hunnerd}}

Take this thing back to Gateway, and you're talkin at least four grand for them to bleed the cache. Me, I'd do it for ya for twenty five hunnerd

#1117; The Computer Mechanic

  — April 17th, 2015

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1117/

Thanks to Sara McHenry for “Snake Coil”! Also:

SNAKE COIL

Buy a Print

20 years ago (in photocomic form)

June 9, 2026 by David Malki !
A young David Malki !, Steve Carey, and Ryan North, June 2006.

The computers tell me it was 20 years ago, June 9, 2006, that I arrived in New York for my first-ever comic convention as an exhibitor, MoCCA.

It was an important trip for me, a milestone in what would go on to become my career.

I wrote a little reminiscence on Patreon (free/unlocked) — including a first-since-then reprint of the photocomics I made at the time, documenting the trip!

Read the rest here: [ 20 Years Ago (In Photocomic Form) ]


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