Comic Transcripts

[[Two people are discussing a soccer game.]]
Soccer Fan: Did you catch the soccer game? We CRUSHED them! We DESTROYED them!
Pacifist: I did not. The aggression makes me uncomfortable.

Pacifist: The whole POINT is to PENETRATE your enemy’s defenses and VIOLATE his sanctum!
Pacifist: You and your GANG DRIVE some OBJECT into a PROTECTED AREA – over STRENUOUS OBJECTIONS! – and are REWARDED for it!

[[The pacifist, fist clenched, looks towards the sky pensively.]]
Pacifist: Why can’t we RECONSIDER this? What if the ball is SACRED? You’re trying to RESCUE it from those who would DEFILE it…
Pacifist: The goal ISN’T the ENEMY’S HOLY OF HOLIES that you’re FORCING FOREIGN ITEMS into… it’s YOURS!
Pacifist: If you can only SECURE this TREASURE in your HOME TEMPLE – it’ll be safe from those BARBAIANS who would STEAL IT for their OWN!

Pacifist: I can get behind soccer as a RESCUE MISSION. I’d rather cheer for a team of SAVIORS than a MOB of DEPRAVED DEFILERS!
Soccer Fan: But why is there a stranger with gloves trying to STOP you from getting the SACRED ORB near your OWN temple?
Pacifist: Seriously!
Pacifist: HE is the MEANEST GUY in SOCCER

{{header: play ball at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The bad guys all hang out near our house probably because they know we gotta come back home sometime! We should probably do the same for them!}}

#1039; A Morally Pitched Battle transcribed by in

[[Two people are discussing a soccer game.]]
Soccer Fan: Did you catch the soccer game? We CRUSHED them! We DESTROYED them!
Pacifist: I did not. The aggression makes me uncomfortable.

Pacifist: The whole POINT is to PENETRATE your enemy’s defenses and VIOLATE his sanctum!
Pacifist: You and your GANG DRIVE some OBJECT into a PROTECTED AREA – over STRENUOUS OBJECTIONS! – and are REWARDED for it!

[[The pacifist, fist clenched, looks towards the sky pensively.]]
Pacifist: Why can’t we RECONSIDER this? What if the ball is SACRED? You’re trying to RESCUE it from those who would DEFILE it…
Pacifist: The goal ISN’T the ENEMY’S HOLY OF HOLIES that you’re FORCING FOREIGN ITEMS into… it’s YOURS!
Pacifist: If you can only SECURE this TREASURE in your HOME TEMPLE – it’ll be safe from those BARBAIANS who would STEAL IT for their OWN!

Pacifist: I can get behind soccer as a RESCUE MISSION. I’d rather cheer for a team of SAVIORS than a MOB of DEPRAVED DEFILERS!
Soccer Fan: But why is there a stranger with gloves trying to STOP you from getting the SACRED ORB near your OWN temple?
Pacifist: Seriously!
Pacifist: HE is the MEANEST GUY in SOCCER

{{header: play ball at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The bad guys all hang out near our house probably because they know we gotta come back home sometime! We should probably do the same for them!}}

#1039; A Morally Pitched Battle transcribed by in

[[Two people are discussing a soccer game.]]
Soccer Fan: Did you catch the soccer game? We CRUSHED them! We DESTROYED them!
Pacifist: I did not. The aggression makes me uncomfortable.

Pacifist: The whole POINT is to PENETRATE your enemy's defenses and VIOLATE his sanctum!
Pacifist: You and your GANG DRIVE some OBJECT into a PROTECTED AREA - over STRENUOUS OBJECTIONS! - and are REWARDED for it!

[[The pacifist, fist clenched, looks towards the sky pensively.]]
Pacifist: Why can't we RECONSIDER this? What if the ball is SACRED? You're trying to RESCUE it from those who would DEFILE it...
Pacifist: The goal ISN'T the ENEMY'S HOLY OF HOLIES that you're FORCING FOREIGN ITEMS into... it's YOURS!
Pacifist: If you can only SECURE this TREASURE in your HOME TEMPLE - it'll be safe from those BARBAIANS who would STEAL IT for their OWN!

Pacifist: I can get behind soccer as a RESCUE MISSION. I'd rather cheer for a team of SAVIORS than a MOB of DEPRAVED DEFILERS!
Soccer Fan: But why is there a stranger with gloves trying to STOP you from getting the SACRED ORB near your OWN temple?
Pacifist: Seriously!
Pacifist: HE is the MEANEST GUY in SOCCER

{{header: play ball at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The bad guys all hang out near our house probably because they know we gotta come back home sometime! We should probably do the same for them!}}

The bad guys all hang out near our house probably because they know we gotta come back home sometime! We should probably do the same for them!

#1039; A Morally Pitched Battle

  — June 20th, 2014

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1039/

Buy a Print

New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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