Comic Transcripts

[[A guy with a Napoleon III mustache is consulting a newspaper and speaking with a fellow sporting epaulets.]]

FAUXPOLEON: I heard — and I don’t know if it’s true — that DOGS are just genetically modified HUMAN INFANTS. Isn’t that OUTRAGEOUS? Who DID that? What ELSE don’t we know about dogs??

E’PAUL: That is not true.

FAUXPOLEON: I don’t KNOW if it’s true or not. But just think of what it MEANS! People EXPERIMENTING on BABIES!

E’PAUL: Indeed. Good thing it’s not true!

FAUXPOLEON: You gotta ADMIT that it’s SCARY to think about!

E’PAUL: As a thought experiment? Okay. As a falsehood examined AS a falsehood on its face? Okay.

E’PAUL: As a valid piece of actual real information worth debating as if it WERE true when it is demonstrably NOT? No.

FAUXPOLEON: It MIGHT be true!

E’PAUL: It is not.

FAUXPOLEON: It might be SOMEDAY.

E’PAUL: Okay.

FAUXPOLEON: What should we DO about it?

E’PAUL: Nothing.

FAUXPOLEON: You’re so PASSIVE. You never want to take a STAND.

E’PAUL: For… for DOGS BEING INFANTS? This is the hill you want to die on, huh

{{header: believe WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: No, not FOR dogs being infants! AGAINST it! I’m AGAINST IT, haven’t you been LISTENING}}

#1020; The Unknown Knowns transcribed by in

[[A guy with a Napoleon III mustache is consulting a newspaper and speaking with a fellow sporting epaulets.]]

FAUXPOLEON: I heard — and I don’t know if it’s true — that DOGS are just genetically modified HUMAN INFANTS. Isn’t that OUTRAGEOUS? Who DID that? What ELSE don’t we know about dogs??

E’PAUL: That is not true.

FAUXPOLEON: I don’t KNOW if it’s true or not. But just think of what it MEANS! People EXPERIMENTING on BABIES!

E’PAUL: Indeed. Good thing it’s not true!

FAUXPOLEON: You gotta ADMIT that it’s SCARY to think about!

E’PAUL: As a thought experiment? Okay. As a falsehood examined AS a falsehood on its face? Okay.

E’PAUL: As a valid piece of actual real information worth debating as if it WERE true when it is demonstrably NOT? No.

FAUXPOLEON: It MIGHT be true!

E’PAUL: It is not.

FAUXPOLEON: It might be SOMEDAY.

E’PAUL: Okay.

FAUXPOLEON: What should we DO about it?

E’PAUL: Nothing.

FAUXPOLEON: You’re so PASSIVE. You never want to take a STAND.

E’PAUL: For… for DOGS BEING INFANTS? This is the hill you want to die on, huh

{{header: believe WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: No, not FOR dogs being infants! AGAINST it! I'm AGAINST IT, haven't you been LISTENING}}

No, not FOR dogs being infants! AGAINST it! I'm AGAINST IT, haven't you been LISTENING

“It still works as a parable.”

“There must be some distinction between a parable and simply a lie”

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


Recent blog posts