[[A guy with a Napoleon III mustache is consulting a newspaper and speaking with a fellow sporting epaulets.]]

FAUXPOLEON: I heard — and I don’t know if it’s true — that DOGS are just genetically modified HUMAN INFANTS. Isn’t that OUTRAGEOUS? Who DID that? What ELSE don’t we know about dogs??

E’PAUL: That is not true.

FAUXPOLEON: I don’t KNOW if it’s true or not. But just think of what it MEANS! People EXPERIMENTING on BABIES!

E’PAUL: Indeed. Good thing it’s not true!

FAUXPOLEON: You gotta ADMIT that it’s SCARY to think about!

E’PAUL: As a thought experiment? Okay. As a falsehood examined AS a falsehood on its face? Okay.

E’PAUL: As a valid piece of actual real information worth debating as if it WERE true when it is demonstrably NOT? No.

FAUXPOLEON: It MIGHT be true!

E’PAUL: It is not.

FAUXPOLEON: It might be SOMEDAY.

E’PAUL: Okay.

FAUXPOLEON: What should we DO about it?

E’PAUL: Nothing.

FAUXPOLEON: You’re so PASSIVE. You never want to take a STAND.

E’PAUL: For… for DOGS BEING INFANTS? This is the hill you want to die on, huh

{{header: believe WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: No, not FOR dogs being infants! AGAINST it! I’m AGAINST IT, haven’t you been LISTENING}}

#1020; The Unknown Knowns transcribed by in

[[A guy with a Napoleon III mustache is consulting a newspaper and speaking with a fellow sporting epaulets.]]

FAUXPOLEON: I heard — and I don’t know if it’s true — that DOGS are just genetically modified HUMAN INFANTS. Isn’t that OUTRAGEOUS? Who DID that? What ELSE don’t we know about dogs??

E’PAUL: That is not true.

FAUXPOLEON: I don’t KNOW if it’s true or not. But just think of what it MEANS! People EXPERIMENTING on BABIES!

E’PAUL: Indeed. Good thing it’s not true!

FAUXPOLEON: You gotta ADMIT that it’s SCARY to think about!

E’PAUL: As a thought experiment? Okay. As a falsehood examined AS a falsehood on its face? Okay.

E’PAUL: As a valid piece of actual real information worth debating as if it WERE true when it is demonstrably NOT? No.

FAUXPOLEON: It MIGHT be true!

E’PAUL: It is not.

FAUXPOLEON: It might be SOMEDAY.

E’PAUL: Okay.

FAUXPOLEON: What should we DO about it?

E’PAUL: Nothing.

FAUXPOLEON: You’re so PASSIVE. You never want to take a STAND.

E’PAUL: For… for DOGS BEING INFANTS? This is the hill you want to die on, huh

{{header: believe WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: No, not FOR dogs being infants! AGAINST it! I'm AGAINST IT, haven't you been LISTENING}}

No, not FOR dogs being infants! AGAINST it! I'm AGAINST IT, haven't you been LISTENING

#1020; The Unknown Knowns

— April 17th, 2014

[ Tags: anomalies, babies, humanized animals ] Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1020/

“It still works as a parable.”

“There must be some distinction between a parable and simply a lie”

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.

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