Comic Transcripts

[[A car stands at rest in front of a country house, its alarms blaring]]
Car: <>

[[Nearby, a gentleman with a bowler hat and cane glances at the car.]]
Gentleman: You know, that’s really annoying. Could you please cut it out.
Car: B-B-But I’m being STOLEN!
Gentleman: You’re NOT being stolen.
Gentleman: Somebody WALKED BY you. Get over it.

[[The view closes, framing the torso of the man and the car’s front fender. The car appears forlorn.]]
Car: I-I’m NOT?
Car: But what if I WAS? What if I was being stolen?
Gentleman: If you were being stolen I would throw a party. I would throw a freaking PARTY.
Gentleman: <> That annoying car is being stolen!
Gentleman: <> Hooray!

{{header: party on at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: i just wanted someone to NOTICE me}}

#286; In which a Car considers a Hypothetical transcribed by in

[[A car stands at rest in front of a country house, its alarms blaring]]
Car: <>

[[Nearby, a gentleman with a bowler hat and cane glances at the car.]]
Gentleman: You know, that's really annoying. Could you please cut it out.
Car: B-B-But I'm being STOLEN!
Gentleman: You're NOT being stolen.
Gentleman: Somebody WALKED BY you. Get over it.

[[The view closes, framing the torso of the man and the car's front fender. The car appears forlorn.]]
Car: I-I'm NOT?
Car: But what if I WAS? What if I was being stolen?
Gentleman: If you were being stolen I would throw a party. I would throw a freaking PARTY.
Gentleman: <> That annoying car is being stolen!
Gentleman: <> Hooray!

{{header: party on at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: i just wanted someone to NOTICE me}}

i just wanted someone to NOTICE me

#286; In which a Car considers a Hypothetical

  — July 23rd, 2013

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/286b/

This Classic Wondermark was originally published in 2007, in black & white! It was colored by Carly Monardo for its inclusion in my book Clever Tricks to Stave Off Death (which has a brand-new paperback edition). The book also contains an informative sidebar about Milestones in Car-Alarm History.

Buy a Print

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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