LLOYD: Wow, what a great turnout! I didn’t think this many people were interested in poison.
DR. HELFSQUIGGLE: Are you kidding? “Every Rose” basically defined a marginalized generation. It was like my anthem senior year.

LLOYD: Wait, are you talking about “Poison” the band?
DR. HELFSQUIGGLE: Totally! Bret Michaels basically raised me. Through the tape player in my Camaro. Oh! And I’m pretty sure the lyrics for “Ride the Wind” were at least partially inspired by one of my fan letters.

LLOYD: Is everyone here for Poison the band?
DR. HELFSQUIGGLE: Uh, yeah, hombre! I’ve already met up with “ratttrap” from the old listserv.
LLOYD: Well, I feel like an idiot now.
DR. HELFSQUIGGLE: Why, what are you here for?
LLOYD: Nothing. Listen, I’d skip the punch.

{{header: I want action at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: n – no reason, it’s just – uh, it’s just GRAPE, and you do NOT look like a guy that appreciates that fakey grape flavor. I mean it would probably put you off your whole night. And this is YOUR night.}}

#330; The Poison Convention transcribed by in

LLOYD: Wow, what a great turnout! I didn't think this many people were interested in poison.
DR. HELFSQUIGGLE: Are you kidding? "Every Rose" basically defined a marginalized generation. It was like my anthem senior year.

LLOYD: Wait, are you talking about "Poison" the band?
DR. HELFSQUIGGLE: Totally! Bret Michaels basically raised me. Through the tape player in my Camaro. Oh! And I'm pretty sure the lyrics for "Ride the Wind" were at least partially inspired by one of my fan letters.

LLOYD: Is everyone here for Poison the band?
DR. HELFSQUIGGLE: Uh, yeah, hombre! I've already met up with "ratttrap" from the old listserv.
LLOYD: Well, I feel like an idiot now.
DR. HELFSQUIGGLE: Why, what are you here for?
LLOYD: Nothing. Listen, I'd skip the punch.

{{header: I want action at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: n - no reason, it's just - uh, it's just GRAPE, and you do NOT look like a guy that appreciates that fakey grape flavor. I mean it would probably put you off your whole night. And this is YOUR night.}}

n-no reason, it's just - uh, it's just GRAPE, and you do NOT look like a guy who appreciates that fakey grape flavor. I mean it would probably put you off your whole night. And this is YOUR night.

#330; The Poison Convention

— August 24th, 2007

[ Tags: music, nostalgia, popular media ] Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/330/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.

Comic Transcripts

#330; The Poison Convention

— August 24th, 2007

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