#536; In which Sparky changes Ownership

Comic Transcripts

[[BARNES comes across FOSTER, who is trapped beneath his fallen horse, SPARKY.]]
BARNES: Criminy, Foster! Took a bit of a tumble there, eh?
FOSTER: It’s FATAL, Barnes. Fell on a jagged branch. Tasting BARK in my throat even now.
I’m DONE FOR, old chum.

FOSTER: But SPARKY’S still got a life to live. Take her AWAY from this blasted place, will you? Find her some PASTURE to roam…
Will you do it, Barnes? Will you ADOPT her for me? And FEED her, and BRUSH her, and TEND to her costly, myriad and unusual medical needs?

FOSTER: Will you HAND-MASH her special imported oatmeal?
RUB HER DOWN each evening with a mitt hand-knit from the hairs of her own mane?
TiVo ICE ROAD TRUCKERS for her?

FOSTER: Will you DRY HER TEARS when lightning, tornadoes and sun frighten her?
Will you build the GIANT, climate-controlled BARN she’s alway wanted for all the STUFFED ANIMALS she hopes to collect on all the TRAVELS you take together?

FOSTER: Will you KNEAD HER GUMS thrice daily?
Will you hire only the BEST equestrian-pilates trainers? And will you do the exercises WITH her so she doesn’t get self-conscious? DESPITE the fact that they are designed for a HORSE’S body, not a MAN’S?

FOSTER: Will you undergo catechism in her ancient religion?
Will you teach your children the spoken language of the mighty horse, so she is not the last conversationalist of her STRANGE and LILTING dialect?

FOSTER: Baarrnnnes—*

[[Later, BARNES is spreading sauce over a horse-sized chunk of meat, roasting on a spit.]]

{{Header: take on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: I can’t believe I have to cook Sparky this massive dinner every night.}}

#536; In which Sparky changes Ownership transcribed by in

FOSTER: Will you HAND-MASH her special imported oatmeal?
RUB HER DOWN each evening with a mitt hand-knit from the hairs of her own mane?
TiVo ICE ROAD TRUCKERS for her?

FOSTER: Baarrnnnes—*

[[Later, BARNES is spreading sauce over a horse-sized chunk of meat, roasting on a spit.]]

{{Header: take on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: I can’t believe I have to cook Sparky this massive dinner every night.}}

#536; In which Sparky changes Ownership transcribed by in

[[BARNES comes across FOSTER, who is trapped beneath his fallen horse, SPARKY.]]
BARNES: Criminy, Foster! Took a bit of a tumble there, eh?
FOSTER: It's FATAL, Barnes. Fell on a jagged branch. Tasting BARK in my throat even now.
I'm DONE FOR, old chum.

FOSTER: But SPARKY'S still got a life to live. Take her AWAY from this blasted place, will you? Find her some PASTURE to roam...
Will you do it, Barnes? Will you ADOPT her for me? And FEED her, and BRUSH her, and TEND to her costly, myriad and unusual medical needs?

FOSTER: Will you HAND-MASH her special imported oatmeal?
RUB HER DOWN each evening with a mitt hand-knit from the hairs of her own mane?
TiVo ICE ROAD TRUCKERS for her?

FOSTER: Will you DRY HER TEARS when lightning, tornadoes and sun frighten her?
Will you build the GIANT, climate-controlled BARN she's alway wanted for all the STUFFED ANIMALS she hopes to collect on all the TRAVELS you take together?

FOSTER: Will you KNEAD HER GUMS thrice daily?
Will you hire only the BEST equestrian-pilates trainers? And will you do the exercises WITH her so she doesn't get self-conscious? DESPITE the fact that they are designed for a HORSE'S body, not a MAN'S?

FOSTER: Baarrnnnes---*

[[Later, BARNES is spreading sauce over a horse-sized chunk of meat, roasting on a spit.]]

{{Header: take on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: I can't believe I have to cook Sparky this massive dinner every night.}}

I can't believe I have to cook Sparky this massive dinner every night.