Comic Transcripts

Two men are chatting in an office. The first man, CHILTRED, dressed in an elaborate military uniform, is twirling his moustache, and continues to do so throughout the exchange, without pause.

CHILTRED: I heard this great joke earlier. What WAS it? AARRGH!! I can’t remember! Something about dogs and ducks. DANGIT!! It was really funny. Now it’s GONE.

PERMBLEY (the other man, seated): Is the distress you’re feeling now greater than the joy the joke gave you originally?

CHILTRED: Oh, enormously.

PERMBLEY: So the EXISTENCE of this joke has been a NET LOSS for you! Don’t REGRET its disappearance! RUE that it ever appeared! CURSE ITS MEMORY!!

CHILTRED: I don’t HAVE its memory!

PERMBLEY: It has inflicted a joke-shaped SCAR on your psyche! FIE ON YOU, sinister dog joke! NEVER AGAIN dare to darken my dear friend’s skull!

CHILTRED: WAIT. I remembered it.

PERMBLEY: NOPE! Don’t you DARE!!

CHILTRED: It’s not the JOKE’S fault I forgot it! It’s innocent!

PERMBLEY: I will never be able to separate it from the trauma it has inflicted!

CHILTRED: That starts to sound like a YOU problem.

PERMBLEY: Wow. WOW. After I DEFENDED you.

CHILTRED: I did not INTEND to spend an APPARENTLY-CONDITIONAL friend defense on a JOKE about DOGS and DUCKS

#1572; In which a Joke is disowned transcribed by in

Two men are chatting in an office. The first man, CHILTRED, dressed in an elaborate military uniform, is twirling his moustache, and continues to do so throughout the exchange, without pause.

CHILTRED: I heard this great joke earlier. What WAS it? AARRGH!! I can't remember! Something about dogs and ducks. DANGIT!! It was really funny. Now it's GONE.

PERMBLEY (the other man, seated): Is the distress you're feeling now greater than the joy the joke gave you originally?

CHILTRED: Oh, enormously.

PERMBLEY: So the EXISTENCE of this joke has been a NET LOSS for you! Don't REGRET its disappearance! RUE that it ever appeared! CURSE ITS MEMORY!!

CHILTRED: I don't HAVE its memory!

PERMBLEY: It has inflicted a joke-shaped SCAR on your psyche! FIE ON YOU, sinister dog joke! NEVER AGAIN dare to darken my dear friend's skull!

CHILTRED: WAIT. I remembered it.

PERMBLEY: NOPE! Don't you DARE!!

CHILTRED: It's not the JOKE'S fault I forgot it! It's innocent!

PERMBLEY: I will never be able to separate it from the trauma it has inflicted!

CHILTRED: That starts to sound like a YOU problem.

PERMBLEY: Wow. WOW. After I DEFENDED you.

CHILTRED: I did not INTEND to spend an APPARENTLY-CONDITIONAL friend defense on a JOKE about DOGS and DUCKS

I took my dog to the duck pond. It caused a huge problem. I should have anticipated it....after all, he's pure-bread.

#1572; In which a Joke is disowned

  — August 16th, 2025

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1572/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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