[[On a town street. MIRGANAN and DOCKBURT ELLBOUGH stand looking at each other.]]
MIRGANAN: I say! Aren't you the famous film actor Macky Ellbough? I loved you in those commercials for some food or other!
DOCKBURT: 'Fraid not, old chap. I'm Dockburt Ellbough, Macky's twin brother, stunt double, camera stand-in, fight coordinator, acting teacher, AND manners coach.
DOCKBURT: I cook his meals, choose AND tailor his shirts, advise him on investments, read scripts he's been sent, negotiate his contracts, notarize his signatures, and feed his cats when he's away.
DOCKBURT: I'm his butler, driver, manager, and agent. I screen his calls, take his dictation, and answer his fan mail.
DOCKBURT: I'm his personal attorney, his chiropractor, his emergency contact, and holder of his medical advance directive.
DOCKBURT: I break in his sneakers, pre-warm his bedclothes and eat all his leftovers.
DOCKBURT: I model for his clothing line, voice his animated TV roles, and, should the need ever arise, will gladly be a guinea pig for any type of experimental surgery.
DOCKBURT: So NO, I'm not him, but I'd be happy to answer any questions, sign an autograph in his handwriting, or take a selfie with you!
MIRGANAN: Nah, that's okay, I'd hoped you were Macky. You really DO like EXACTLY like him.
DOCKBURT: Well, naturally... I wouldn't be a very good NUDE SCENE BUTT DOUBLE if I didn't!
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