Comic Transcripts

[[Two people are waiting for an elevator. One is wearing a hat (similar to a cowboy hat). The other is wearing plaid pants. They wait, saying nothing.]]

Cowboy: You know, we could just take the stairs.
Plaid: We could also continue waiting for the elevator.

Cowboy: We could also try to scale the building.
Plaid: Or we could rent a helicopter and a parachute.
Cowboy: We could pump our bodies full of helium until we start to float.
Plaid: We could start a CULT that requires people to CARRY us places.

Plaid: We could SET UP CAMP in this elevator lobby and live here FOREVER, making a new home for ourselves in the ashes of the world soon to be swept away.
Plaid: We could be priests of the new order, sanctifying the METAL CUBE ROOM as an ORACLE and allowing only OURSELVES access, and only then on the solstice, and only THEN following a blood sacrifice from throngs of peasants who’ve made desperate pilgrimages to hear the faint, muffled strains of the MUZAK version of THE GIRL FROM IPANEMA.

Cowboy: I guess there’s lots of things we COULD do.
Plaid: The secret is learning to prioritize.

{{header: going up to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: If you never manage to get upstairs, just invent a religion with the foundational tenet being that the thing upstairs is forbidden for everyone! Until the young apostate generation demands to scale the fire stairs and then you get to have a HOLY WAR}}

#1019; In which there are Choices transcribed by in

[[Two people are waiting for an elevator. One is wearing a hat (similar to a cowboy hat). The other is wearing plaid pants. They wait, saying nothing.]]

Cowboy: You know, we could just take the stairs.
Plaid: We could also continue waiting for the elevator.

Cowboy: We could also try to scale the building.
Plaid: Or we could rent a helicopter and a parachute.
Cowboy: We could pump our bodies full of helium until we start to float.
Plaid: We could start a CULT that requires people to CARRY us places.

Plaid: We could SET UP CAMP in this elevator lobby and live here FOREVER, making a new home for ourselves in the ashes of the world soon to be swept away.
Plaid: We could be priests of the new order, sanctifying the METAL CUBE ROOM as an ORACLE and allowing only OURSELVES access, and only then on the solstice, and only THEN following a blood sacrifice from throngs of peasants who've made desperate pilgrimages to hear the faint, muffled strains of the MUZAK version of THE GIRL FROM IPANEMA.

Cowboy: I guess there's lots of things we COULD do.
Plaid: The secret is learning to prioritize.

{{header: going up to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: If you never manage to get upstairs, just invent a religion with the foundational tenet being that the thing upstairs is forbidden for everyone! Until the young apostate generation demands to scale the fire stairs and then you get to have a HOLY WAR}}

If you never manage to get upstairs, just invent a religion with the foundational tenet being that the thing upstairs is forbidden for everyone! Until the young apostate generation demands to scale the fire stairs and then you get to have a HOLY WAR

#1019; In which there are Choices

  — April 14th, 2014

[ Tags: , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1019/

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Bolted! Fulfillment Update

May 25, 2026 by David Malki !
Photo courtesy of backer Nicola!

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!


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