Comic Transcripts

Woman: Jason. Listen very carefully to me. This is our WEDDING.
Woman: We have established a wintergreen napkin palette. These turquoise pepper mills you found suggest a fundamentally Southwestern character.
Woman: It’s like you’re not even paying attention!

Man: Baby, you’ve been on about these minute details for months–
Woman: Well, of course!
Woman: You wouldn’t defend a thesis without studying and preparing!
Woman: You wouldn’t go to the Olympics without training day and night!
Woman: You wouldn’t show up in court without having your case ironclad!

Man: But… those are all things you can lose at.
Woman: I know! Exactly! And I’m almost thirty!
Woman: I have come this far! I will not have this taken from me!

Man: I never knew that weddings were a cargo cult, where if you get something wrong with the napkins then God refuses to sanctify the union.
[[Woman is now crouching behind the table]]
Woman: Not God
Woman: EVERYBODY

{{header: till death do you WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt text: fine. wintergreen? how about custom packages of tic tacs? folks can rattle them when they want us to kiss! –JASON are you TRYING to give me a migraine}}

#759; And the Guests Never Notice transcribed by in

Woman: Jason. Listen very carefully to me. This is our WEDDING.
Woman: We have established a wintergreen napkin palette. These turquoise pepper mills you found suggest a fundamentally Southwestern character.
Woman: It’s like you’re not even paying attention!

Man: Baby, you’ve been on about these minute details for months–
Woman: Well, of course!
Woman: You wouldn’t defend a thesis without studying and preparing!
Woman: You wouldn’t go to the Olympics without training day and night!
Woman: You wouldn’t show up in court without having your case ironclad!

Man: But… those are all things you can lose at.
Woman: I know! Exactly! And I’m almost thirty!
Woman: I have come this far! I will not have this taken from me!

Man: I never knew that weddings were a cargo cult, where if you get something wrong with the napkins then God refuses to sanctify the union.
[[Woman is now crouching behind the table]]
Woman: Not God
Woman: EVERYBODY

{{header: till death do you WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt text: fine. wintergreen? how about custom packages of tic tacs? folks can rattle them when they want us to kiss! –JASON are you TRYING to give me a migraine}}

#759; And the Guests Never Notice transcribed by in

Woman: Jason. Listen very carefully to me. This is our WEDDING.
Woman: We have established a wintergreen napkin palette. These turquoise pepper mills you found suggest a fundamentally Southwestern character.
Woman: It's like you're not even paying attention!

Man: Baby, you've been on about these minute details for months--
Woman: Well, of course!
Woman: You wouldn't defend a thesis without studying and preparing!
Woman: You wouldn't go to the Olympics without training day and night!
Woman: You wouldn't show up in court without having your case ironclad!

Man: But... those are all things you can lose at.
Woman: I know! Exactly! And I'm almost thirty!
Woman: I have come this far! I will not have this taken from me!

Man: I never knew that weddings were a cargo cult, where if you get something wrong with the napkins then God refuses to sanctify the union.
[[Woman is now crouching behind the table]]
Woman: Not God
Woman: EVERYBODY

{{header: till death do you WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt text: fine. wintergreen? how about custom packages of tic tacs? folks can rattle them when they want us to kiss! --JASON are you TRYING to give me a migraine}}

fine. wintergreen? how about custom packages of tic tacs? folks can rattle them when they want us to kiss! -- JASON are you TRYING to give me a migraine

#759; And the Guests Never Notice

  — September 27th, 2011

[ Tags: , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/759/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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