#1029; The Children I Haven’t Had

Comic Transcripts

[[A well-dressed man in a suit and a scruffier-looking man in a bowler hat make conversation.]]
Suit: So, you and Molly have any kids yet?
Bowler: With MOLLY? No. I don’t have any kids with MOLLY.
Bowler: And if I have EVER had any kids at ALL, with Molly OR any hypothetical OTHER person, Molly definitely doesn’t KNOW about them.

Bowler: No kids that I LOVE and would want to BEAR MY FAMILY NAME, anyway.
Bowler: DEFINITELY no kids that I want to talk to YOU about.

[[Molly intervenes.]]
Bowler: I don’t know if you know what this is like, but… I have never had a child that I was PROUD of.
Bowler: And I have never seen a child of mine survive being dropped into the old well behind Patterson’s decrepit barn.
Bowler: Probably because, you see, I have NEVER had a child that was BORN HUMAN
Molly: Come here

Bowler: Everything I said was a factual statement!
Molly: Listen to me
Molly: My family is starting to suspect that you are WEIRD

{{header: make a little WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Technically, I’ve never been to a funeral for your grandmother that I HAVEN’T ruined!}}

#1029; The Children I Haven’t Had transcribed by in

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one, except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.