Comic Transcripts

[[Sign: Now Hiring! NEXT DOOR REALTY. The “Closer” Company]]
Man: Look at that. Now hiring. You want to be a closer? Or be closer. Not sure which it would be.
Woman: No way. Look at that font. Look at those straight quotes!

Woman: Straight quotes are math symbols. Held over in text from the days of limited typewriter keys. Get with the Times! No pun intended.
Man: Pun?
Woman: The sign. Times New Roman. Geez why did I even marry you.

Woman: Anyone who can’t pay attention to details like using the right quotes, I don’t trust to pay attention to details like, I don’t know, everything involved with buying a house.
Man: What if those are, in fact, entirely different and unrelated fields of expertise? You know about quotes, but you can’t sell a house. What if they’re just as good but in the opposite way?

Woman: Fine. Go buy a house from them. Just don’t come crying to me when all the stairways in the house turn out to actually be ladders.
Man: You’d think that’d be something one would notice during the open house.
Woman: “Oh, we thought it was all the same,” says the agent, showing off a kitchen faucet that’s just a straight pipe shooting water at the ceiling.

{{header: do some curls at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The closets are trash chutes. The garage is an old well. The doors are simply holes in the ground. At some point it becomes less a question of being confused about quotes as it is being confused about a lot of things.}}

#943; Don’t Give it to Me Straight transcribed by in

[[Sign: Now Hiring! NEXT DOOR REALTY. The "Closer" Company]]
Man: Look at that. Now hiring. You want to be a closer? Or be closer. Not sure which it would be.
Woman: No way. Look at that font. Look at those straight quotes!

Woman: Straight quotes are math symbols. Held over in text from the days of limited typewriter keys. Get with the Times! No pun intended.
Man: Pun?
Woman: The sign. Times New Roman. Geez why did I even marry you.

Woman: Anyone who can't pay attention to details like using the right quotes, I don't trust to pay attention to details like, I don't know, everything involved with buying a house.
Man: What if those are, in fact, entirely different and unrelated fields of expertise? You know about quotes, but you can't sell a house. What if they're just as good but in the opposite way?

Woman: Fine. Go buy a house from them. Just don't come crying to me when all the stairways in the house turn out to actually be ladders.
Man: You'd think that'd be something one would notice during the open house.
Woman: "Oh, we thought it was all the same," says the agent, showing off a kitchen faucet that's just a straight pipe shooting water at the ceiling.

{{header: do some curls at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The closets are trash chutes. The garage is an old well. The doors are simply holes in the ground. At some point it becomes less a question of being confused about quotes as it is being confused about a lot of things.}}

The closets are trash chutes. The garage is an old well. The doors are simply holes in the ground. At some point it becomes less a question of being confused about quotes as it is being confused about a lot of things.

#943; Don’t Give it to Me Straight

  — June 13th, 2013

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/943/

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Bolted! Shipping is UNDERWAY

April 4, 2026 by David Malki !

Bolted! games have been shipping to backers over the last couple of weeks! The non-US orders are (mostly) done and some folks have been reporting receiving them already!

@davidmalki.com My game arrived today!! It looks gorgeous 🙂 Hope you are well 🙂

[image or embed]

— Lar deSouza (@lartist.bsky.social) April 2, 2026 at 2:52 PM

My US inventory of games is now in-country, but still being staged at the fulfillment centers. It’s being distributed to regional warehouses, so the actual shipping to backers happens more efficiently. I hope the bulk of US shipping will start next week.

These are what the cartons (and games) look like!

bolted! games BOLTED! GAMES (pounding the table) B O L T E D ! G A M E S

[image or embed]

— david malki ! (@davidmalki.com) April 3, 2026 at 10:37 AM

I am also waiting on the bonus cards to be finished printing! I ended up needing many more of those than I had anticipated, so I decided to have the game factory print those too, for perfect matching with the base game cards.

Most people will be receiving two separate mailings: the game itself, and “anything else” (bonus cards and/or add-ons) which will be sent by me personally.

As of today, 86% of backers have completed their surveys so far! That’s pretty good, but it’s not everyone. I know YOU PERSONALLY have already completed YOURS though, so no worries!!

We have now moved OFF of Kickstarter and ONTO BackerKit for any new orders. You can bundle a game with basically anything else I sell on that there website, it’s pretty nuts!


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