[[Sign: Now Hiring! NEXT DOOR REALTY. The "Closer" Company]]
Man: Look at that. Now hiring. You want to be a closer? Or be closer. Not sure which it would be.
Woman: No way. Look at that font. Look at those straight quotes!
Woman: Straight quotes are math symbols. Held over in text from the days of limited typewriter keys. Get with the Times! No pun intended.
Man: Pun?
Woman: The sign. Times New Roman. Geez why did I even marry you.
Woman: Anyone who can't pay attention to details like using the right quotes, I don't trust to pay attention to details like, I don't know, everything involved with buying a house.
Man: What if those are, in fact, entirely different and unrelated fields of expertise? You know about quotes, but you can't sell a house. What if they're just as good but in the opposite way?
Woman: Fine. Go buy a house from them. Just don't come crying to me when all the stairways in the house turn out to actually be ladders.
Man: You'd think that'd be something one would notice during the open house.
Woman: "Oh, we thought it was all the same," says the agent, showing off a kitchen faucet that's just a straight pipe shooting water at the ceiling.
{{header: do some curls at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The closets are trash chutes. The garage is an old well. The doors are simply holes in the ground. At some point it becomes less a question of being confused about quotes as it is being confused about a lot of things.}}
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