#867; That Ol’ Kitchen Magic

Comic Transcripts

[[Two women are in a kitchen. Woman 1 is cooking with a frying pan over a stove. Woman 2 is working at a table nearby.]]

Woman 1: Look! I take a runny, slimy egg. Inedible, you say? I shall expose it to fire! Aha! The egg is now firm! The very same egg!

Woman 1: This bacon is likewise soft and horrible. Yet observe how I turn it delicious! Nonstop crackling and popping! The classic smell of breakfast! A veritable fireworks show of grease! All from an inert piece of meat! I’ll never tell how it’s done!

Woman 1: [[from off-panel, Woman 2 is in panel]] Easy, you say. Child’s play, you might think. But what about this! A pile of raw hashed potatoes, completely white, as you’d expect. But watch carefully! I’ve always loved your brown eyes, my dear… Would you like potatoes to match? Kapow! No mirrors, no tricks! The potatoes have genuinely turned brown!

Woman 2: I do believe I understand how cooking works, yes.
Woman 1: You may call it cooking but I call it wizardry

{{header: fry up some WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: for the last time, it’s not a ‘cauldron,’ it’s just a ‘saucepan’}}

#867; That Ol’ Kitchen Magic transcribed by in

[[Two women are in a kitchen. Woman 1 is cooking with a frying pan over a stove. Woman 2 is working at a table nearby.]]

Woman 1: Look! I take a runny, slimy egg. Inedible, you say? I shall expose it to fire! Aha! The egg is now firm! The very same egg!

Woman 2: I do believe I understand how cooking works, yes.
Woman 1: You may call it cooking but I call it wizardry

{{header: fry up some WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: for the last time, it’s not a ‘cauldron,’ it’s just a ‘saucepan’}}

#867; That Ol’ Kitchen Magic transcribed by in

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!