Comic Transcripts

HI, I’D LIKE TO RETURN A TOASTER.
SURE! CAN I SEE YOUR RECEIPT?
I DON’T HAVE IT.
OKAY, THEN CAN I SEE THE TOASTER?

I DON’T HAVE IT.
YOU DON’T HAVE THE TOASTER YOU’RE TRYING TO RETURN?
I LOST IT. IT BROKE.
LISTEN, IT’S BUSTED. YOU CAN’T RESELL IT, SO ISN’T THE RELEVANT FACTOR THAT I NO LONGER HAVE IT? AND SINCE I DON’T HAVE IT, I NEED MY MONEY INSTEAD.

FINE. HERE. FIFTY BUCKS. SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE!
I SHOULD SAY SO! HMMPH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LISTEN, FIFTY BUCKS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO POSITIVE CUSTOMER RELATIONS AND BUILDING BRAND LOYALTY! I’D PAY HUNDREDS FOR AN AD, I’LL GIVE THIS GUY FIFTY BUCKS TO KEEP HIM HAPPY.

IT’S NOT ABOUT FIFTY BUCKS, IT’S ABOUT REWARDING A SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT AND SETTING A PRECEDENT OF BEING GULLIBLE! THAT LEADS TO A LOT MORE THAN JUST FIFTY BUCKS!
HI, EXCUSE ME, I’D LIKE TO RETURN THE BUILDING WE’RE STANDING IT

{{header: take it back to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The toaster broke when I threw it at a salesclerk in a different store}}

#836; In which a Toaster vanishes transcribed by in

HI, I’D LIKE TO RETURN A TOASTER.
SURE! CAN I SEE YOUR RECEIPT?
I DON’T HAVE IT.
OKAY, THEN CAN I SEE THE TOASTER?

I DON’T HAVE IT.
YOU DON’T HAVE THE TOASTER YOU’RE TRYING TO RETURN?
I LOST IT. IT BROKE.
LISTEN, IT’S BUSTED. YOU CAN’T RESELL IT, SO ISN’T THE RELEVANT FACTOR THAT I NO LONGER HAVE IT? AND SINCE I DON’T HAVE IT, I NEED MY MONEY INSTEAD.

FINE. HERE. FIFTY BUCKS. SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE!
I SHOULD SAY SO! HMMPH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LISTEN, FIFTY BUCKS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO POSITIVE CUSTOMER RELATIONS AND BUILDING BRAND LOYALTY! I’D PAY HUNDREDS FOR AN AD, I’LL GIVE THIS GUY FIFTY BUCKS TO KEEP HIM HAPPY.

IT’S NOT ABOUT FIFTY BUCKS, IT’S ABOUT REWARDING A SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT AND SETTING A PRECEDENT OF BEING GULLIBLE! THAT LEADS TO A LOT MORE THAN JUST FIFTY BUCKS!
HI, EXCUSE ME, I’D LIKE TO RETURN THE BUILDING WE’RE STANDING IT

{{header: take it back to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The toaster broke when I threw it at a salesclerk in a different store}}

#836; In which a Toaster vanishes transcribed by in

HI, I'D LIKE TO RETURN A TOASTER.
SURE! CAN I SEE YOUR RECEIPT?
I DON'T HAVE IT.
OKAY, THEN CAN I SEE THE TOASTER?

I DON'T HAVE IT.
YOU DON'T HAVE THE TOASTER YOU'RE TRYING TO RETURN?
I LOST IT. IT BROKE.
LISTEN, IT'S BUSTED. YOU CAN'T RESELL IT, SO ISN'T THE RELEVANT FACTOR THAT I NO LONGER HAVE IT? AND SINCE I DON'T HAVE IT, I NEED MY MONEY INSTEAD.

FINE. HERE. FIFTY BUCKS. SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE!
I SHOULD SAY SO! HMMPH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
LISTEN, FIFTY BUCKS IS NOTHING COMPARED TO POSITIVE CUSTOMER RELATIONS AND BUILDING BRAND LOYALTY! I'D PAY HUNDREDS FOR AN AD, I'LL GIVE THIS GUY FIFTY BUCKS TO KEEP HIM HAPPY.

IT'S NOT ABOUT FIFTY BUCKS, IT'S ABOUT REWARDING A SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT AND SETTING A PRECEDENT OF BEING GULLIBLE! THAT LEADS TO A LOT MORE THAN JUST FIFTY BUCKS!
HI, EXCUSE ME, I'D LIKE TO RETURN THE BUILDING WE'RE STANDING IT

{{header: take it back to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The toaster broke when I threw it at a salesclerk in a different store}}

The toaster broke when I threw it at a salesclerk in a different store

Bolted! Fulfillment Update

Photo courtesy of backer Nicola!

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!


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