Comic Transcripts

[[IGNACIO is listening to the phone.]]
VOICEMAIL: Your call is very important to us. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed. For billing, press one. For sales, press two. For technical support, press pi.

VOICEMAIL: If you know your party’s extension, you may dial it in reverse order using your touch-tone phone. To access a company directory, please hold your phone receiver over a stove and watch the patterns the steam makes when viewed against a dark background.

VOICEMAIL: To report a lost or stolen card, twist the receiver in opposite directions with both hands. Have a resealable glass container nearby to catch the liquid that emerges from the earpiece. In a dark, quiet room, press your face against the mouth of the container and tell the liquid exactly what happened to your card. Vivid memories are best. The good times your card enabled you to have. Tell it all this, and seal it.

VOICEMAIL: Let the liquid harden into a gel in a cool cupboard In seven to ten days, you will receive a packet of seeds. Plant the seeds in the gel in the shape of a regular heptagon.
IGNACIO [[looking nervous, thinks]]: Man, these options have changed

{{header: please hold for WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: Your replacement card will come in the mail. The seeds are just to keep you occupied. They are actually just sand. We will bill the card we are sending for the sand.}}

#651; Those Volatile Menu Options transcribed by in

[[IGNACIO is listening to the phone.]]
VOICEMAIL: Your call is very important to us. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed. For billing, press one. For sales, press two. For technical support, press pi.

VOICEMAIL: If you know your party’s extension, you may dial it in reverse order using your touch-tone phone. To access a company directory, please hold your phone receiver over a stove and watch the patterns the steam makes when viewed against a dark background.

VOICEMAIL: To report a lost or stolen card, twist the receiver in opposite directions with both hands. Have a resealable glass container nearby to catch the liquid that emerges from the earpiece. In a dark, quiet room, press your face against the mouth of the container and tell the liquid exactly what happened to your card. Vivid memories are best. The good times your card enabled you to have. Tell it all this, and seal it.

VOICEMAIL: Let the liquid harden into a gel in a cool cupboard In seven to ten days, you will receive a packet of seeds. Plant the seeds in the gel in the shape of a regular heptagon.
IGNACIO [[looking nervous, thinks]]: Man, these options have changed

{{header: please hold for WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: Your replacement card will come in the mail. The seeds are just to keep you occupied. They are actually just sand. We will bill the card we are sending for the sand.}}

#651; Those Volatile Menu Options transcribed by in

[[IGNACIO is listening to the phone.]]
VOICEMAIL: Your call is very important to us. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed. For billing, press one. For sales, press two. For technical support, press pi.

VOICEMAIL: If you know your party's extension, you may dial it in reverse order using your touch-tone phone. To access a company directory, please hold your phone receiver over a stove and watch the patterns the steam makes when viewed against a dark background.

VOICEMAIL: To report a lost or stolen card, twist the receiver in opposite directions with both hands. Have a resealable glass container nearby to catch the liquid that emerges from the earpiece. In a dark, quiet room, press your face against the mouth of the container and tell the liquid exactly what happened to your card. Vivid memories are best. The good times your card enabled you to have. Tell it all this, and seal it.

VOICEMAIL: Let the liquid harden into a gel in a cool cupboard In seven to ten days, you will receive a packet of seeds. Plant the seeds in the gel in the shape of a regular heptagon.
IGNACIO [[looking nervous, thinks]]: Man, these options have changed

{{header: please hold for WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: Your replacement card will come in the mail. The seeds are just to keep you occupied. They are actually just sand. We will bill the card we are sending for the sand.}}

Your replacement card will come in the mail. The seeds are just to keep you occupied. They are actually just sand. We will bill the card we are sending for the sand.

#651; Those Volatile Menu Options

  — August 24th, 2010

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/651/

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Bolted! Fulfillment Update

May 25, 2026 by David Malki !
Photo courtesy of backer Nicola!

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!


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