Comic Transcripts

MAGGIE: Honey, we have to teach the baby Portuguese.
JOHN: Dare I ask why? / MAGGIE: I was just thinking…the Millie Spangler type is big into teaching babies Mandarin, so they can compete in the future global economy.
MAGGIE: So…in twenty years the Chinese business world will be flooded with these kids! If we want to stay one step ahead, we have to get Billy in good stead for the next big powerhouse. BRAZIL. / JOHN: “One step ahead?” You mean, if we want to one-up Millie Spangler. / MAGGIE: She’s beat us on homebirth. She’s beat us on preschool. John. This is our only chance.
[[Later]] MAGGIE: Millie! How are you? How’s the baby? / Millie: Just wonderful! We’ve been teaching him Lingala, so he’ll be uniquely qualified to do humanitarian work in the Congo. / MAGGIE: But… / MILLIE: CHECK AND MATE

{{header: jump ahead at WONDERMARK.com}}
{{alt-text: It’s okay. We still have time to ensure that Billy becomes a world-class cellist. I DON’T CARE THAT THIS IS HARDLY A SUSTAINABLE CAREER IT SOUNDS IMPORTANT}}

#577; Children are a Weapon transcribed by in

MAGGIE: Honey, we have to teach the baby Portuguese.
JOHN: Dare I ask why? / MAGGIE: I was just thinking…the Millie Spangler type is big into teaching babies Mandarin, so they can compete in the future global economy.
MAGGIE: So…in twenty years the Chinese business world will be flooded with these kids! If we want to stay one step ahead, we have to get Billy in good stead for the next big powerhouse. BRAZIL. / JOHN: “One step ahead?” You mean, if we want to one-up Millie Spangler. / MAGGIE: She’s beat us on homebirth. She’s beat us on preschool. John. This is our only chance.
[[Later]] MAGGIE: Millie! How are you? How’s the baby? / Millie: Just wonderful! We’ve been teaching him Lingala, so he’ll be uniquely qualified to do humanitarian work in the Congo. / MAGGIE: But… / MILLIE: CHECK AND MATE

{{header: jump ahead at WONDERMARK.com}}
{{alt-text: It’s okay. We still have time to ensure that Billy becomes a world-class cellist. I DON’T CARE THAT THIS IS HARDLY A SUSTAINABLE CAREER IT SOUNDS IMPORTANT}}

#577; Children are a Weapon transcribed by in

MAGGIE: Honey, we have to teach the baby Portuguese.
JOHN: Dare I ask why? / MAGGIE: I was just thinking...the Millie Spangler type is big into teaching babies Mandarin, so they can compete in the future global economy.
MAGGIE: So...in twenty years the Chinese business world will be flooded with these kids! If we want to stay one step ahead, we have to get Billy in good stead for the next big powerhouse. BRAZIL. / JOHN: "One step ahead?" You mean, if we want to one-up Millie Spangler. / MAGGIE: She's beat us on homebirth. She's beat us on preschool. John. This is our only chance.
[[Later]] MAGGIE: Millie! How are you? How's the baby? / Millie: Just wonderful! We've been teaching him Lingala, so he'll be uniquely qualified to do humanitarian work in the Congo. / MAGGIE: But... / MILLIE: CHECK AND MATE

{{header: jump ahead at WONDERMARK.com}}
{{alt-text: It's okay. We still have time to ensure that Billy becomes a world-class cellist. I DON'T CARE THAT THIS IS HARDLY A SUSTAINABLE CAREER IT SOUNDS IMPORTANT}}

It's okay. We still have time to ensure that Billy becomes a world-class classical cellist. I DON'T CARE THAT THAT IS HARDLY A SUSTAINABLE CAREER IT SOUNDS IMPORTANT

#577; Children are a Weapon

  — December 8th, 2009

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/577/

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Bolted! Shipping is UNDERWAY

April 4, 2026 by David Malki !

Bolted! games have been shipping to backers over the last couple of weeks! The non-US orders are (mostly) done and some folks have been reporting receiving them already!

@davidmalki.com My game arrived today!! It looks gorgeous 🙂 Hope you are well 🙂

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— Lar deSouza (@lartist.bsky.social) April 2, 2026 at 2:52 PM

My US inventory of games is now in-country, but still being staged at the fulfillment centers. It’s being distributed to regional warehouses, so the actual shipping to backers happens more efficiently. I hope the bulk of US shipping will start next week.

These are what the cartons (and games) look like!

bolted! games BOLTED! GAMES (pounding the table) B O L T E D ! G A M E S

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— david malki ! (@davidmalki.com) April 3, 2026 at 10:37 AM

I am also waiting on the bonus cards to be finished printing! I ended up needing many more of those than I had anticipated, so I decided to have the game factory print those too, for perfect matching with the base game cards.

Most people will be receiving two separate mailings: the game itself, and “anything else” (bonus cards and/or add-ons) which will be sent by me personally.

As of today, 86% of backers have completed their surveys so far! That’s pretty good, but it’s not everyone. I know YOU PERSONALLY have already completed YOURS though, so no worries!!

We have now moved OFF of Kickstarter and ONTO BackerKit for any new orders. You can bundle a game with basically anything else I sell on that there website, it’s pretty nuts!


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