#447; The Wrong Way to Ask for $700 Billion

Comic Transcripts

[[HENRY and his father. The father is wearing some kind of military uniform.]]
HENRY: Dad, I need cookies.
DAD: No. You’re in trouble for flooding the basement with your homemade waterslide.
HENRY: You don’t GET it! I NEED cookies. It’s not a passing desire. It’s a legitimate pressing NEED.
When I broke the water main, I awoke a FEARSOME HYDRO-DRAGON who intends to DEVOUR us all unless I bring him a GIANT STACK OF COOKIES.

DAD: Oh? Well, let’s go take a LOOK at this dragon.
HENRY: NO! You can’t see him! He’s an…INVISIBLE hydro-dragon!
SUPER-dangerous. TRUST ME!
DAD: Henry…
When someone with YOUR track record wants THAT many cookies, THIS is how to ask:

DAD: “I KNOW this sounds bad. I KNOW I’ve been wrong before. But right now, the danger we face is SO great that I ask you to look past ME to the FACTS of the situation, as presented by an impartial third party.
“Hopefully, for the moment if nothing more, we can SET ASIDE our differences and COOPERATE for the good of us all.”
HENRY: DAD YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME A MILLION COOKIES RIGHT NOW OR THE INVISIBLE DRAGON IS GOING TO DEVOUR YOU AND ME AND MOM AND EVERYONE AND THE STREETS WILL RUN RED WITH OUR LIQUEFIED ORGAAAAANS

#447; The Wrong Way to Ask for $700 Billion transcribed by in

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!