It's not like I haven't already switched my Duolingo to Dutch. I just want to know what I'm in for, y'know?

#1565; A Cold Stare From a Tall Bookshelf (Part 4 of 4)

  — May 1st, 2025

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1565/

This story began with Part 1.

Buy a Print

The Actual Path of Civil Rights

I kinda liked this last phrase so I mocked up a design for Teespring! I mainly want to get one for myself.

HERE IT IS:

the type is pretty small

The shirts are available for 5 days only. I also made a bumper sticker version:

wondermark-laugh-bumper-sticker

The stickers are available through StickerMule, a store that also sells my other stickers by the each if you ever want just a single one of them.

Do people ever say that? “By the each”? Sounds weird to me but I swear I’ve heard people say it. Now, it’s always sounded weird even when they said it, but I’m pretty sure they were grown-ups, so who knows??

Wondermark Valentine cards are still available too!

A Free, Printable Progressive Calendar for 2015

I made a simple, printable wall calendar for my office! You can have it too — here’s a PDF file you can print yourself.

Those of you who’ve picked up copies of the Wondermark Calendar in any of the last three years know about my interest in progressive calendars.

By that, I mean a calendar that doesn’t have any breaks between months. I think I invented the term? By that, I mean “nobody else has ever used this term.”

Back in 2012 I wrote all about it. The special Wondermark branded calendars, of course, address the matter with their modular card design.

But this year, I also wanted a big work calendar I could mount on the wall and write on. I like being able to see the coming weeks and months at a glance.

So I made this:

WHAT DAY IS IT

It’s an entire 2015 calendar that fits on six sheets of regular typing paper. In the picture, you can see I’ve trimmed the pages so they line up in columns of 2 pages each; you could arrange it a different way, if you prefer.

I tried to make it very simple and very clear, with no wasted space or ornament. We all basically know which holidays happen when, so holidays and other observances are marked with just an abbreviation.

The “businesses-are-closed” holidays (where I live, anyway) are further indicated with a shaded circle. The letters “DS” mark the Daylight Saving changeover dates. Some other possibly confusing ones are “CNY” (Chinese New Year), “RAM” (Ramadan), and “CHAN” (Chanukah).

Since I also do a lot of weekend travel, I decided to group the weekend days together on the right, and start each week with Monday on the left.

I thought this might be useful to you as well, so here you go! Please feel free to print out your own!

{ DOWNLOAD PDF FILE }

EDIT: Jason McDermott has created a version featuring the significant Australian dates!

João Paulo Bernardes has created a Brazilian version as well!

I’ve also updated my version to correct the March 8 date for Daylight Saving Time.

Wondermark Valentine cards!

If you have a sweetie of any kind, you should know about my Wondermark Valentines! Here are a couple in particular:

And there are others too! Click here too see the full suite of designs. My Valentine cards are either a nice way to show your affection OR a heartless tool of the consumerist spendocracy. One or the other!

2014 Errata

Embed from Getty Images

Sometimes, you write and publish a comic strip, and sometimes, you find out later that you got something wrong. Since files on the internet are impervious to change, please find instead, below, a comprehensive list of our errors, omissions, and misstatements of fact in 2014.

#1023; The Counsel of the Expert (Part 3)
Clearly, Darren also benefited from networking.

#1034; A Masterpiece in every Router
Craig does actually have a choice in the matter; he is just choosing to ignore it for dramatic effect.

#1053; The Star So Softly Said Hello
Later reports indicate that the star was probably billions and billions and billions of miles away, rather than simply hundreds of millions. Whether the bird knew this at the time the strip occurred is unclear.

#1074; Le Roman à Crybaby
This strip originally used the word “twats”, which I have since learned is more offensive in some places than I had realized. It has been corrected to “twits”, which still basically gets the bloody point across.

#1062; The Terrible Sea Lion
It has been suggested that the couple in this comic, and the woman in particular, are bigots for making a pejorative statement about a species of animal, and then refusing to justify their statements. It has been further suggested that they be read as overly privileged, because they are dressed fancily, have a house, a motor-car, etc. This is, I suppose, a valid read of the comic, if taken as written.

But often, in satire such as this, elements are employed to stand in for other, different objects or concepts. Using animals for this purpose has the effect of allowing the point (which usually is about behavior) to stand unencumbered by the connotations that might be suggested if a person is portrayed in that role — because all people are members of some social group or other, even if said group identity is not germane to the point being made.

Such is the case with this comic. The sea lion character is not meant to represent actual sea lions, or any actual animal. It is meant as a metaphorical stand-in for human beings that display certain behaviors. Since behaviors are the result of choice, I would assert that the woman’s objection to sea lions — which, if the metaphor is understood, is read as actually an objection to human beings who exhibit certain behaviors — is not analogous to a prejudice based on race, species, or other immutable characteristics.

My apologies if the use of a metaphorical sea lion in this strip, rather than a human being making conscious choices about their own behavior, was in any way confusing.

As for their attire: everyone in Wondermark dresses like that.

#993; In which a Party is supposed
It actually was a pretty good party.

Wondermark regrets the errors.

Previously:
2013 Errata / 2011 Errata / 2009 Errata / 2008 Errata

Reader-Made Bibliophibian Hats & Tiger-Homicide Tats

Here are some cool reader-made things that hit my inbox recently!

First — Marksman William R. writes:

I have been a regular reader of your Wondermark strip since 2009. I’ve also recently reached the age where some of my friends are now getting married and having children.

I mention this because one such child, born this past weekend to close friends of mine who are both avid book lovers and both completed English degrees in college (one is now in law school, the other is a substitute teacher), would be a perfect model for some clothing emblazoned with the word “bibliophibian.”

However, now having occasion to purchase the onesie that I once saw advertised by your comic, I was distraught to learn that it is now out of print and unavailable for sale at TopatoCo. (A quick search of eBay also turns up no results, though I’m not yet sure how I feel about the prospect of a garment-used-by-strangers-as-belated-baby-shower-gift.)

In addition to my engineering degrees I have also developed some skill in knitting over the past several years, and the thought crossed my mind that if I could not buy a suitable garment, perhaps I could knit something, maybe a hat at least. However, I would still owe (and indeed, feel) a debt to you for gracing our world with the amusing concept of an amateur librarian’s darling little monster.

In short, may I have your blessing to fabricate a “bibliophibian”-proclaiming garment for my friends’ infant son?

To which I answered, of course, “OF COURSE.” (Hint: this will almost always be my answer.)

And the results! (Click for bigger)

WEAR IT

Will adds: “I’m satisfied that the text is legible even if it looks like pixel type, though I may switch to embroidery whenever the next kid comes around. The white on the back is intended to be a scribbled paragraph, and I’m starting to think it would have been more recognizable as one if I’d not ‘justified’ the ‘text’ and left it ragged-right. Oh well!”

READ IT

I think it looks great, Will! Thanks very much for the pictures. I hope this baby’s head is warmed forevermore by the magic of reading.

It is true that the ‘Bibliophibian’ shirts and onesies are out of print for the moment… But I have just worked out a deal with a new venture to bring some of my older T-shirt designs back. Hopefully we’ll learn more about that in the coming weeks.

I also received this email from Mario B.:

One of the tattoos I’m looking at getting in the near future, is the tiger-soldier-chasing what appears to be a paper boy, from the Mysterious Homicides piece you made. I’m just writing to ask if it’s okay to get that needled into my back, or will I have to stab a small “copyright Dave” next to it?

Mario is referring to this poster that I made for a Law & Order-themed art show a while ago!

It is not my place to tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t get tattooed on their body. So, sure! I was happy to go along with the idea.

GOOD THING I DID:

SLASH IT

INK IT

BECAUSE IT LOOKS FRIGGIN INCREDIBLE

I thought I posted some other reader tattoos a while back, but I can’t find the post, so here they are again, or possibly for the first time!

From Denis C.: “I am a photographer, and this is my tribute to the world of film. When nuclear winter arrives, and EMP has destroyed all the robots and electronics in the world, I will be standing on top of the hill with my trusty Nikkormat 35mm in hand, capturing it all. Thank you for supporting the emulsified revolution, even if you didn’t do it intentionally.”

(Based on this design of mine)

CLICK IT

From David H.: “So, I’ve always been partial to a spot of Wondermark and, years ago, when thinking about what to get as my first tattoo, you posted the comic that inspired the t-shirt that inspired this very tattoo! I’ve have had it on my back for years, and the other day, it occurred to me that you might get some enjoyment out of it, so… well, enjoy!”

RIDE IT

I’m going to go ahead and assume that’s his shoulder blade. Still: Neat!

Also, from Daniel B., submitted without comment:

ART IT

Both are from the elephant found here and on the also-out-of-print Where Is My Elephant shirt.

Finally, I have heard a few threats to attempt this best-of-all-possible tattoos, but SO FAR:

BUPKIS

THE CHALLENGE HAS BEEN LAID


Recent blog posts