[[A man in an elaborate hat and leggings, WHIPSMARK, holding a book, speaks to a woman, BELDRA, peering through a lorgnette and holding a tiny dog.]]

WHIPSMARK: Did you just POST this about the late DINGO WOLFHEART?

WHIPSMARK: “Rest in poop to DUMBO WOLF FART. I’m glad he’s dead, but I’m sad I wasn’t there to watch it happen”
WHIPSMARK: “He will be mourned by other people who should ALSO all die soon. This is not a THREAT of any sort, simply a request to Santa Claus”

BELDRA: I have a bunch more in my drafts, if you’d care to see.
WHIPSMARK: I do NOT.

WHIPSMARK (sternly): Crass. Disrespectful. When I die, are you going to say terrible things about ME, too?

BELDRA: WELL
BELDRA (sliding into a smirking, gleeful side-eye): THAT DEPENDS

[[The dog side-eyes WHIPSMARK as well.]]

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...I'm sad I wasn't there to watch it happen. I got stuck in traffic on the bridge on my way to the dookie factory, where he worked, and where he choked to death on dookie, sadly before I could get there. Whoops, character limit

#1589; The Ol’ Scorny Mourny

  — July 24th, 2026

[ Tags: , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1589/

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Comic Transcripts

[[A man in an elaborate hat and leggings, WHIPSMARK, holding a book, speaks to a woman, BELDRA, peering through a lorgnette and holding a tiny dog.]]

WHIPSMARK: Did you just POST this about the late DINGO WOLFHEART?

WHIPSMARK: “Rest in poop to DUMBO WOLF FART. I’m glad he’s dead, but I’m sad I wasn’t there to watch it happen”
WHIPSMARK: “He will be mourned by other people who should ALSO all die soon. This is not a THREAT of any sort, simply a request to Santa Claus”

BELDRA: I have a bunch more in my drafts, if you’d care to see.
WHIPSMARK: I do NOT.

WHIPSMARK (sternly): Crass. Disrespectful. When I die, are you going to say terrible things about ME, too?

BELDRA: WELL
BELDRA (sliding into a smirking, gleeful side-eye): THAT DEPENDS

[[The dog side-eyes WHIPSMARK as well.]]

{{header: spend your days at WONDERMARK.COM}}

#1589; The Ol’ Scorny Mourny transcribed by Comic Transcript AuthorsDavid Malki ! in

Submission: lord of death

This from Noelle, who says, “Sometimes I’ll doodle something that I just inherently like exactly as it is. This is one of those things.”

his teeth are tiny tombstones

Drawing: zap gun

with a brain like that you'd think he'd find some pants

Another one that ran off the edge of the page, but in this case his arm just got (awkwardly) squozen to fit.

Submission: a curmudgeon yearns

Bret says, “This is something I scrawled while working in the public library one afternoon, absently watching the action at the Information Desk.”

Informant sits with scowling lips.
His beard is trimmed and grey.
His Ph.D. in history’s
a mystery nowadays.

He’s asked for pulp and fashion mags,
puerile rags for philistines.
He hands out codes of network nodes
to aimless listless AIMing teens.

He dreams of days Athena ruled,
erudition all the rage.
Back when students begged for school…
He stops and sighs and turns the page.


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