Do you NOT consider saving your mom from having to wear her fingers to the bone deep into the night at her advanced age 'in your best interest'??

NOW SHIPPING: ‘Hierarchy of Beards’ Poster!

It’s here! The poster-sized expansion of my ‘Beard Spotting Guide’ from Beards of our Forefathers.


You can also buy it in a bundle with Carly’s and my Futurism poster and save 10% on the whole deal.

To reiterate: This product is sold from and shipped by TopatoCo, which also sells my T-shirts. Purchases from TopatoCo are processed entirely separately from my in-house store, which sells holiday cards, books, and gift items. However, it should be reiterated that purchases from either should be made with a certain, shall we say, vitesse, as the Post Office can only deliver things so fast. All non-U.S. orders should use Priority or Express shipping to have any chance of arriving by Christmas. Unfortunately the world is rather large, and we must deal with the ramifications.

Domestic orders can continue to be placed for the next week or so! Hooray for beards!

Gift ideas created by my friends!

Assuming you’ve already got copies of all my books — both my comic strip collections and my parody Victorian novels — and perhaps even a Wondermark T-shirt or two…well, you probably think I’ve got nothing more for you this holiday season! You, my close personal friend, are dead wrong.

First, I have a hearty “thank you!” from my warm, rent-paid-up household to yours. This is my job, thanks to kind folks like you. Hooray!

Second, I know for a fact that you don’t want to go to the mall, you don’t want to fight for parking…but neither do you want to just browse Amazon like a sluggard and hope you stumble across the perfect gift for all the weirdos on your shopping list. That’s where I can do you a favor, with the following fine list of Gift Recommendations that are Wonderfully Creative and Unique and also Help My Colleagues Not Starve. After all, you’re the one about whom everyone’s always saying, “Where do you find all these bizarre and wonderful gifts?” Don’t worry…your secret’s safe with me!

For the book lover who’s already got a framed print of this strip, the “Unshelved” book bag is hard to resist. Also check out their T-shirts — my wife’s got several and they always get appreciative bibliophile double-takes (or maybe that’s just my wife).

Poop sign. Great stocking stuffer? Probably won’t fit. Great everything-else stuffer? ‘Nuff said.

Jon Rosenberg’s “Goats” is soon to be a 3-book graphic novel series from Del Rey, and he’s offering some limited-edition, signed & numbered archival prints of artwork created for the first volume, Infinite Typewriters. Really lovely!

Indigo Kelleigh’s designed his own 8-bit tarot cards in a colorful, retro-Nintendo style. These cards are also printed in limited edition.

Next week: book reviews!

True Stuff: Editorial Cartoons from 1870

These “True Stuff from Old Books” entries are from Punchinello magazine, 1870. Punchinello was a short-lived New York City spinoff of the popular British satirical weekly Punch, and like its cousin across the pond, it championed the causes of a new and growing demographic — an urban literate middle-class — while skewering the pompous in politics and society.

An example (click any of the images in this post for bigger versions):

The title reads, “A DISTINCTION WITH A DIFFERENCE.” The dismembered veterans are labeled “HEROES OF THE WAR”; the glove-toting businessman, “HE ROSE BY THE WAR.” Behind the businessman is a partially-readable sign reading “Shoddy Whole[sale] Cheap Cloth[ing].”

As long as there has been war, apparently, there have been businesses it has made prosperous.

This second cartoon is pretty self-explanatory: Uncle Sam’s being crushed by the weights of year after year of income tax in a scene reminiscent of the Spanish Inquisition; the Inquisitors are President Grant and members of his Cabinet. The caption reads:

THE FINANCIAL INQUISITION.
Grand Inquisitor, U. S. Grant. Associate Inquisitors, G. S. Boutwell, F. E. Spinner, John Sherman. Executioner, C. Delano.
ASSOCIATE SHERMAN. “Well, well, Uncle Sam does stand a good deal of pressure. Executioner, keep piling the weights on.”

(Secretary of the Interior Columbus Delano, on the right, has in his pocket a paper reading ‘Delano Int. Rev.’)

Probably the least subtle editorial cartoon ever drawn. Next, two figures have tea:

FINANCIAL RELIEF.
MR. BUMBLE BOUTWELL TO MRS. CORNEY FISH. (See Oliver Twist.) “The great principle of financial relief is to give the business men exactly what they don’t want : then they get tired of coming.”

Behind the figures are: A drawing labeled “Plan of Alms House for Ruined Merchants”; a birdcage labeled “Golden Eagle, Moulting”; a run-down model ship labeled “U.S. Commerce”; and a weeping statue labeled “Mercantile Stagnation.” One might get the impression that this was a lean time for American business.

Upon first read, I interpreted this comic in the light of our current financial situation. “Hmm, things really are cyclical,” I thought. “Businesses in danger of failing come to the government for bailout.” It seemed like the cartoonist was scoffing at the businessmen with their outstretched hands, and advocating a method to get them to go away: just don’t give them what they beg for. “Hah!” thought I. “The analog to today is: No bailout! Reap what you sow, automakers et al! How relevant a comic this is — I should love to post it on my blogue.”

However, on second read and further examination of the context, I don’t think that’s what the cartoonist was saying at all. Punchinello had a lot to say in 1870 about what its editorial board saw as oppressive taxation — another cartoon, not reprinted here, depicted a host of tariffs, excise fees, dock taxes etc. as barnacles preventing merchant ships from leaving port and earning money. In the above cartoon, the figure on the right is George S. Boutwell, Secretary of the Treasury, seen earlier in the Inquisition; on the left is Hamilton Fish, Grant’s Secretary of State. They’re here portrayed as two of the villains from Oliver Twist, Mr Bumble and Mrs Corney, ready to ride honest American merchants like orphans in a workhouse. A far sight less subtle than my initial interpretation, perhaps.

The most interesting thing to me, however, is to compare the cartoons’ doom-and-gloom to the actual historical record. President Grant and his Cabinet presided over a country rebuilding from the Civil War; they would face a severe economic crisis down the road in 1873, which would lead to a six-year depression, but by 1870 Grant was lowering taxes, Boutwell was streamlining the federal government, and despite a scandal implicating Grant in a scheme by speculators to corner the gold market in 1869 (which would, in fact, be the cause of the 1873 crisis), American credit abroad was better than ever and the national debt was being paid off at a rapid rate.

Some people just love to be contrarian.

Finally, this:

SOCIAL SCIENCE.
Lecturer. “There is a cumulative approximativeness, so to speak, a period when the recalcitrant corpuscles begin to” —
Stenographer. “Con-found the fellow ! I knew he’d break my pencil with his infernal jaw-smashers!”

Oh man I love this one so much. “Jaw-smashers”! I’m gonna bring that back.

The Wondermark 2008 Holiday Store is open.

Whoo, boy, I’ve got a lot to talk about today. Several new products, some promotional offers, and a teaser item. Stick with me, won’t you?

First off the bat: 2009 Calendars are now available for pre-order. I know a lot of people have been waiting for this, because it’s a limited-edition product — now you can stake your claim. (The calendars won’t actually start shipping for a few weeks yet.) If you don’t know what all the ruckus is about, don’t worry — I’ll post a lot more about this product in the coming days and weeks. It’s a really special item.

Come to mention it, I’ve got a brand-new, wholly redesigned store! It’s a quantum leap forward from the old store, and you now have the option to choose your preferred shipping method, bookmark individual products, forward items to friends via email, and add items to an Amazon Universal Wish List. The new store represents a renewal of my commitment to customer service as well. You can even call me on the phone if you have a question about a product or an order! I am here for you, is what I’m saying.

And there’s also a new thing called the Wondermark Circular, which is a quarterly store-only newsletter containing discount codes, information about new products, the occasional flight of fancy and the like. You have the opportunity to sign up for the Circular whenever you buy something from the store: just check the box indicating you’d like to receive “occasional emails about new products, promotions and other news.” The box is unchecked by default, ’cause I ain’t runnin’ no spam operation.

This holiday season, if you order $40 or more worth of any merchandise, I’ll toss in a free one of these:

The Banded Print Sets contain 13 individual prints of some of my favorite comics. Normally $10 each, one of these is free automatically with any order of $40 or more (excluding taxes & shipping; while supplies last). Plus — any order of $75 or more will get all 3 sets free. You don’t have to do anything; it’s all automatic. (This offer also applies to Wondermark T-shirts & posters purchased from TopatoCo — to claim it, just forward me your emailed receipt.)

Did you know I have a whole line of greeting cards? Wondermark holiday cards have been enormously popular every year they’ve been offered. I’m pleased to announce three new card designs for this season: one each of holidays, thank-you, and blank inside (for any occasion). This brings the total number of designs on offer up to 21, and you can mix-&-match your order however you like among all the designs.

There’s also a new desk-easel option for framed comic prints:

And what are these?!

My wife Nikki — a special-effects makeup artist currently working in puppet fabrication for the TV show Robot Chicken — has sculpted and cast these decorative resin pins:

Every pin is hand-painted by Nikki, and the set is available this holiday season only. I expect every one of you to put the little hat directly on top of the little bear, but be warned: the hat won’t fit properly at all.

Finally, a sneak peek at something coming soon:

This will be a poster available from TopatoCo in the coming weeks. It’s, of course, a huge poster-sized version of the “Beard Spotting Guide” from my latest strip collection Beards of our Forefathers, and I think it looks pretty dang boss.

Are you following me on Twitter? Twitter followers got a sneak peek at this poster about a week ago, just one of the many cool tidbits they’re privy to — like a first look at my next book, chances at marked-down nick-and-dent merchandise, or (just the other day) a limited-time discount code good for anything in my new store. If that sort of stuff interests you, it’s worth your while to follow me!

And, before I forget, the domestic U.S. ordering deadline for guaranteed Christmas delivery is December 14th. After the 14th, you’ve probably still got a few days, but I’m not making any promises. (Priority Mail shipping helps.) International orders should really be placed as soon as possible; I can’t make any guarantees. Canada Post is trying to set new records for slowness all the time, as far as I can tell.

Whew! If you’ve made it this far, congratulations. To reward your persistence, enter the code “IREADITALL” at checkout to receive 5% off everything in the new store through midnight Thursday.


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