Marksman Owen writes: “I was inspired by your steam-powered heart T-shirt to create these two hearts. Less anatomically correct but more suitable for Valentine’s Day. They were something of a success with the ladies too.”
Great work, Owen! Also: let this be an instructive moment to all you Lotharios out there. Owen reports success with the “ladies.” Plural. The lesson is not to try and split your heart between two (or more) loves; it’ll never work. Your true love wants, and deserves, the whole of your heart. So give it to them!
…And then make another heart to repeat the process. The secret is in the number of hearts you have. Let us be like that famous Don Juan of the animal kingdom, the ten-hearted earthworm, and cultivate as many loves as our biology (or clockworks) will allow — then secrete a viscid egg sac into our clitellum and slide that junk right off our segmented, slithery body. Ah, love!