Comic Transcripts

[[An excited-looking man carrying a sack of money approaches a salesman with a large head, who is grinning smugly and gesturing to a creature. The creature is like a small boy, with the head of a duck, bill wide open, and a small top hat.]]
Man: You say you’ve cracked the secret to time travel?
Salesman: Yes! Just picture a point in time you’d like to visit in your head…

[[The salesman looks at the duck and his head seems to grow larger. The man blanches.]]
Salesman: …then French kiss this duck and poof! You transport to your destination!

[[The man looks suspicious. The salesman’s head grows even larger – it is now perhaps 1.5x taller than the man’s. He looks very angry and his mouth grows into a huge, gaping frown – he could easily swallow the other man’s head.]]
Man: …
Salesman: What. What’s the matter.

[[The salesman’s head is now extremely large, easily twice the width and height of the other man’s head. He shouts after the man, who has left, spit flying from his mouth. The duck-creature is confused.]]
Salesman: WHERE ARE YOU GOING.

{{No header joke.}}
{{Alt-text: he is getting a running start}}

Guest comic by KC Green transcribed by in

[[An excited-looking man carrying a sack of money approaches a salesman with a large head, who is grinning smugly and gesturing to a creature. The creature is like a small boy, with the head of a duck, bill wide open, and a small top hat.]]
Man: You say you’ve cracked the secret to time travel?
Salesman: Yes! Just picture a point in time you’d like to visit in your head…

[[The salesman looks at the duck and his head seems to grow larger. The man blanches.]]
Salesman: …then French kiss this duck and poof! You transport to your destination!

[[The man looks suspicious. The salesman’s head grows even larger – it is now perhaps 1.5x taller than the man’s. He looks very angry and his mouth grows into a huge, gaping frown – he could easily swallow the other man’s head.]]
Man: …
Salesman: What. What’s the matter.

[[The salesman’s head is now extremely large, easily twice the width and height of the other man’s head. He shouts after the man, who has left, spit flying from his mouth. The duck-creature is confused.]]
Salesman: WHERE ARE YOU GOING.

{{No header joke.}}
{{Alt-text: he is getting a running start}}

Guest comic by KC Green transcribed by in

[[An excited-looking man carrying a sack of money approaches a salesman with a large head, who is grinning smugly and gesturing to a creature. The creature is like a small boy, with the head of a duck, bill wide open, and a small top hat.]]
Man: You say you've cracked the secret to time travel?
Salesman: Yes! Just picture a point in time you'd like to visit in your head...

[[The salesman looks at the duck and his head seems to grow larger. The man blanches.]]
Salesman: ...then French kiss this duck and poof! You transport to your destination!

[[The man looks suspicious. The salesman's head grows even larger - it is now perhaps 1.5x taller than the man's. He looks very angry and his mouth grows into a huge, gaping frown - he could easily swallow the other man's head.]]
Man: ...
Salesman: What. What's the matter.

[[The salesman's head is now extremely large, easily twice the width and height of the other man's head. He shouts after the man, who has left, spit flying from his mouth. The duck-creature is confused.]]
Salesman: WHERE ARE YOU GOING.

{{No header joke.}}
{{Alt-text: he is getting a running start}}

he is getting a running start

The final GCOAT comes courtesy of KC Green, whose stylings longtime readers will recognize. KC is the author of many comics including Gunshow, which is one of the funniest, strangest and occasionally grossest comics around. (Warning, Mom, it’s sometimes gross.) I also conducted an interview with KC recently for the TopatoBlog! I guess I did one with Chris Hastings too and forgot to mention it earlier.

KC has a new book up for pre-order now called The Blood Cloud and I suggest you get it. I have his previous volume, and I could read that thing all dang day. KC has a peculiar mastery over awkward glares, which are a fascinating recurring theme in his work.

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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