Comic Transcripts

[[Sign: Now Hiring! NEXT DOOR REALTY. The “Closer” Company]]
Man: Look at that. Now hiring. You want to be a closer? Or be closer. Not sure which it would be.
Woman: No way. Look at that font. Look at those straight quotes!

Woman: Straight quotes are math symbols. Held over in text from the days of limited typewriter keys. Get with the Times! No pun intended.
Man: Pun?
Woman: The sign. Times New Roman. Geez why did I even marry you.

Woman: Anyone who can’t pay attention to details like using the right quotes, I don’t trust to pay attention to details like, I don’t know, everything involved with buying a house.
Man: What if those are, in fact, entirely different and unrelated fields of expertise? You know about quotes, but you can’t sell a house. What if they’re just as good but in the opposite way?

Woman: Fine. Go buy a house from them. Just don’t come crying to me when all the stairways in the house turn out to actually be ladders.
Man: You’d think that’d be something one would notice during the open house.
Woman: “Oh, we thought it was all the same,” says the agent, showing off a kitchen faucet that’s just a straight pipe shooting water at the ceiling.

{{header: do some curls at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The closets are trash chutes. The garage is an old well. The doors are simply holes in the ground. At some point it becomes less a question of being confused about quotes as it is being confused about a lot of things.}}

#943; Don’t Give it to Me Straight transcribed by in

[[Sign: Now Hiring! NEXT DOOR REALTY. The "Closer" Company]]
Man: Look at that. Now hiring. You want to be a closer? Or be closer. Not sure which it would be.
Woman: No way. Look at that font. Look at those straight quotes!

Woman: Straight quotes are math symbols. Held over in text from the days of limited typewriter keys. Get with the Times! No pun intended.
Man: Pun?
Woman: The sign. Times New Roman. Geez why did I even marry you.

Woman: Anyone who can't pay attention to details like using the right quotes, I don't trust to pay attention to details like, I don't know, everything involved with buying a house.
Man: What if those are, in fact, entirely different and unrelated fields of expertise? You know about quotes, but you can't sell a house. What if they're just as good but in the opposite way?

Woman: Fine. Go buy a house from them. Just don't come crying to me when all the stairways in the house turn out to actually be ladders.
Man: You'd think that'd be something one would notice during the open house.
Woman: "Oh, we thought it was all the same," says the agent, showing off a kitchen faucet that's just a straight pipe shooting water at the ceiling.

{{header: do some curls at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The closets are trash chutes. The garage is an old well. The doors are simply holes in the ground. At some point it becomes less a question of being confused about quotes as it is being confused about a lot of things.}}

The closets are trash chutes. The garage is an old well. The doors are simply holes in the ground. At some point it becomes less a question of being confused about quotes as it is being confused about a lot of things.

#943; Don’t Give it to Me Straight

  — June 13th, 2013

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/943/

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Bolted! Fulfillment Update

May 25, 2026 by David Malki !
Photo courtesy of backer Nicola!

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!


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