Comic Transcripts

Man in top hat: Pardon me, can you direct me to the library?

[[Native’s head drops to the ground; man in top hat recoils in horror]]

[[Man in top hat is gone. Second head emerges from native’s apron]]
Second head: Heh heh heh
Second head: Wotta prank

[[Native’s head now stands erect on tiny body with tiny legs and tiny arms akimbo]]
Native’s head: Listen, I’m getting tired of you calling the shots here!

{{header: trust in WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: From now on, when you feel my itsy bitsy butt muscles clench atop the mound of your misshapen hump, that, my friend, is when you DO NOT DROP ME}}

#794; The Unhelpful Natives transcribed by in

Man in top hat: Pardon me, can you direct me to the library?

[[Native’s head drops to the ground; man in top hat recoils in horror]]

[[Man in top hat is gone. Second head emerges from native’s apron]]
Second head: Heh heh heh
Second head: Wotta prank

[[Native’s head now stands erect on tiny body with tiny legs and tiny arms akimbo]]
Native’s head: Listen, I’m getting tired of you calling the shots here!

{{header: trust in WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: From now on, when you feel my itsy bitsy butt muscles clench atop the mound of your misshapen hump, that, my friend, is when you DO NOT DROP ME}}

#794; The Unhelpful Natives transcribed by in

Man in top hat: Pardon me, can you direct me to the library?

[[Native's head drops to the ground; man in top hat recoils in horror]]

[[Man in top hat is gone. Second head emerges from native's apron]]
Second head: Heh heh heh
Second head: Wotta prank

[[Native's head now stands erect on tiny body with tiny legs and tiny arms akimbo]]
Native's head: Listen, I'm getting tired of you calling the shots here!

{{header: trust in WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: From now on, when you feel my itsy bitsy butt muscles clench atop the mound of your misshapen hump, that, my friend, is when you DO NOT DROP ME}}

From now on, when you feel my itsy bitsy butt muscles clench atop the mound of your misshapen hump, that, my friend, is when you DO NOT DROP ME

#794; The Unhelpful Natives

  — February 3rd, 2012

[ Tags: ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/794/

(Primordial version.)

Buy a Print

New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


Recent blog posts