Comic Transcripts

[[The candidate, a middle-aged man with a top hat and cane; behind him, several well-dressed ladies and gentlemen.]]
Candidate: If I am elected, let me make one thing clear:
Candidate: It will be an administration of SCANDAL.

Candidate: I promise you, the media will have to work OVERTIME to keep up with my illicit shenanigans. MISTRESSES. BRIBERY. INDICTMENTS 24/7.
Candidate: I will award lucrative contracts to EVERY crony I can get on the phone. I will make lawyers from EVERY regulatory agency work harder than they EVER have in their lives.

Candidate: BLOGGERS will wear their fingers to the BONE. Magazines and newspapers will run EXTRA EDITIONS. TALK RADIO will get so APOPLECTIC that cars will be driven off the road by the SCORE.
Candidate: I will require my own dedicated branch of the Justice Department just to CLASSIFY my crimes.
Candidate: They will probably even have to build a SPECIAL PRISON to hold me. It will cost MILLIONS.

Candidate: And so I PROMISE you
Candidate: I WILL CREATE JOBS!

{{header: report on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The candidates debate. There’s a light that blinks yellow three times and then turns green. At the green, whoever yells ”JOBS” the loudest becomes president.}}

#782; The Winning Catchphrase transcribed by in

[[The candidate, a middle-aged man with a top hat and cane; behind him, several well-dressed ladies and gentlemen.]]
Candidate: If I am elected, let me make one thing clear:
Candidate: It will be an administration of SCANDAL.

Candidate: I promise you, the media will have to work OVERTIME to keep up with my illicit shenanigans. MISTRESSES. BRIBERY. INDICTMENTS 24/7.
Candidate: I will award lucrative contracts to EVERY crony I can get on the phone. I will make lawyers from EVERY regulatory agency work harder than they EVER have in their lives.

Candidate: BLOGGERS will wear their fingers to the BONE. Magazines and newspapers will run EXTRA EDITIONS. TALK RADIO will get so APOPLECTIC that cars will be driven off the road by the SCORE.
Candidate: I will require my own dedicated branch of the Justice Department just to CLASSIFY my crimes.
Candidate: They will probably even have to build a SPECIAL PRISON to hold me. It will cost MILLIONS.

Candidate: And so I PROMISE you
Candidate: I WILL CREATE JOBS!

{{header: report on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The candidates debate. There’s a light that blinks yellow three times and then turns green. At the green, whoever yells ”JOBS” the loudest becomes president.}}

#782; The Winning Catchphrase transcribed by in

[[The candidate, a middle-aged man with a top hat and cane; behind him, several well-dressed ladies and gentlemen.]]
Candidate: If I am elected, let me make one thing clear:
Candidate: It will be an administration of SCANDAL.

Candidate: I promise you, the media will have to work OVERTIME to keep up with my illicit shenanigans. MISTRESSES. BRIBERY. INDICTMENTS 24/7.
Candidate: I will award lucrative contracts to EVERY crony I can get on the phone. I will make lawyers from EVERY regulatory agency work harder than they EVER have in their lives.

Candidate: BLOGGERS will wear their fingers to the BONE. Magazines and newspapers will run EXTRA EDITIONS. TALK RADIO will get so APOPLECTIC that cars will be driven off the road by the SCORE.
Candidate: I will require my own dedicated branch of the Justice Department just to CLASSIFY my crimes.
Candidate: They will probably even have to build a SPECIAL PRISON to hold me. It will cost MILLIONS.

Candidate: And so I PROMISE you
Candidate: I WILL CREATE JOBS!

{{header: report on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The candidates debate. There's a light that blinks yellow three times and then turns green. At the green, whoever yells ''JOBS'' the loudest becomes president.}}

The candidates debate. There's a light that blinks yellow three times and then turns green. At the green, whoever yells ''JOBS'' the loudest becomes president.

#782; The Winning Catchphrase

  — December 20th, 2011

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/782/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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