Comic Transcripts

[[The candidate, a middle-aged man with a top hat and cane; behind him, several well-dressed ladies and gentlemen.]]
Candidate: If I am elected, let me make one thing clear:
Candidate: It will be an administration of SCANDAL.

Candidate: I promise you, the media will have to work OVERTIME to keep up with my illicit shenanigans. MISTRESSES. BRIBERY. INDICTMENTS 24/7.
Candidate: I will award lucrative contracts to EVERY crony I can get on the phone. I will make lawyers from EVERY regulatory agency work harder than they EVER have in their lives.

Candidate: BLOGGERS will wear their fingers to the BONE. Magazines and newspapers will run EXTRA EDITIONS. TALK RADIO will get so APOPLECTIC that cars will be driven off the road by the SCORE.
Candidate: I will require my own dedicated branch of the Justice Department just to CLASSIFY my crimes.
Candidate: They will probably even have to build a SPECIAL PRISON to hold me. It will cost MILLIONS.

Candidate: And so I PROMISE you
Candidate: I WILL CREATE JOBS!

{{header: report on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The candidates debate. There’s a light that blinks yellow three times and then turns green. At the green, whoever yells ”JOBS” the loudest becomes president.}}

#782; The Winning Catchphrase transcribed by in

[[The candidate, a middle-aged man with a top hat and cane; behind him, several well-dressed ladies and gentlemen.]]
Candidate: If I am elected, let me make one thing clear:
Candidate: It will be an administration of SCANDAL.

Candidate: I promise you, the media will have to work OVERTIME to keep up with my illicit shenanigans. MISTRESSES. BRIBERY. INDICTMENTS 24/7.
Candidate: I will award lucrative contracts to EVERY crony I can get on the phone. I will make lawyers from EVERY regulatory agency work harder than they EVER have in their lives.

Candidate: BLOGGERS will wear their fingers to the BONE. Magazines and newspapers will run EXTRA EDITIONS. TALK RADIO will get so APOPLECTIC that cars will be driven off the road by the SCORE.
Candidate: I will require my own dedicated branch of the Justice Department just to CLASSIFY my crimes.
Candidate: They will probably even have to build a SPECIAL PRISON to hold me. It will cost MILLIONS.

Candidate: And so I PROMISE you
Candidate: I WILL CREATE JOBS!

{{header: report on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The candidates debate. There’s a light that blinks yellow three times and then turns green. At the green, whoever yells ”JOBS” the loudest becomes president.}}

#782; The Winning Catchphrase transcribed by in

[[The candidate, a middle-aged man with a top hat and cane; behind him, several well-dressed ladies and gentlemen.]]
Candidate: If I am elected, let me make one thing clear:
Candidate: It will be an administration of SCANDAL.

Candidate: I promise you, the media will have to work OVERTIME to keep up with my illicit shenanigans. MISTRESSES. BRIBERY. INDICTMENTS 24/7.
Candidate: I will award lucrative contracts to EVERY crony I can get on the phone. I will make lawyers from EVERY regulatory agency work harder than they EVER have in their lives.

Candidate: BLOGGERS will wear their fingers to the BONE. Magazines and newspapers will run EXTRA EDITIONS. TALK RADIO will get so APOPLECTIC that cars will be driven off the road by the SCORE.
Candidate: I will require my own dedicated branch of the Justice Department just to CLASSIFY my crimes.
Candidate: They will probably even have to build a SPECIAL PRISON to hold me. It will cost MILLIONS.

Candidate: And so I PROMISE you
Candidate: I WILL CREATE JOBS!

{{header: report on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The candidates debate. There's a light that blinks yellow three times and then turns green. At the green, whoever yells ''JOBS'' the loudest becomes president.}}

The candidates debate. There's a light that blinks yellow three times and then turns green. At the green, whoever yells ''JOBS'' the loudest becomes president.

#782; The Winning Catchphrase

  — December 20th, 2011

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/782/

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New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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