Comic Transcripts

A farmer stands in front of a worker who is tending to a fruit tree. The farmer speaks to us, the viewer.

FARMER:
Halloween has gotten too corporate! Big Candy pushes its sugar-laden garbage as the only sensible choice compared to razor-bladed apples!

Another example of big business using its marketing muscle to destroy the small entrepreneur!

Well, guess what, Nestle? We only use genuine U.S. steel in our razor blades!

Each blade is lovingly tied to an emerging springtime blossom so that the apple grows around the blade seamlessly! Some things are still done by hand!

[He takes a bite of the apple, which CRUNCHES.] Ow! Aah!!

[Blood is now running down his chin.] Delicious!

#767; The Old Farmer’s Lament transcribed by in

A farmer stands in front of a worker who is tending to a fruit tree. The farmer speaks to us, the viewer.

FARMER:
Halloween has gotten too corporate! Big Candy pushes its sugar-laden garbage as the only sensible choice compared to razor-bladed apples!

Another example of big business using its marketing muscle to destroy the small entrepreneur!

Well, guess what, Nestle? We only use genuine U.S. steel in our razor blades!

Each blade is lovingly tied to an emerging springtime blossom so that the apple grows around the blade seamlessly! Some things are still done by hand!

[He takes a bite of the apple, which CRUNCHES.] Ow! Aah!!

[Blood is now running down his chin.] Delicious!

And my colleagues who put used needles into bananas and depleted uranium into grapes aren't doing any better!!

#767; The Old Farmer’s Lament

  — October 30th, 2019

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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