Comic Transcripts

CON MAN: How was your weekend?
SICK MAN: I was torn into by an illness left over from the plagues of Egypt.

SICK MAN: By day, I lay on the ground moaning and rocking in agony… By night, I stared at the ceiling, willing sleep to come, begging some spirit of rest to glance over my shattered body and, sighing, say “I’ll take him.” After hours of this I would look at the clock and realize only minutes had passed. Time had lifted its foot from the accelerator and was slowly coasting to a stop. I would be trapped in that pain for a hundred thousand years.

SICK MAN: This, I realized, is what immortality must be like: staring at the clock, waiting for it to tick over, waiting for time to pass and for the sun to rise and things to get better… But it doesn’t. And it doesn’t. And it doesn’t.

SICK MAN: I’m sorry, you were probably just asking to be polite.
CON MAN: Actually I was just trying to distract you while my dog picked your pockets!

{{header: toss and turn at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: the stomach flu is like Nature picking your body’s pockets OVER and OVER and OVER again – and not finding anything but VILENESS, but still COMING BACK to TRY AGAIN. Nature is DISGUSTING}}

#753; A Mean Glimpse of Eternity transcribed by in

CON MAN: How was your weekend?
SICK MAN: I was torn into by an illness left over from the plagues of Egypt.

SICK MAN: By day, I lay on the ground moaning and rocking in agony… By night, I stared at the ceiling, willing sleep to come, begging some spirit of rest to glance over my shattered body and, sighing, say “I’ll take him.” After hours of this I would look at the clock and realize only minutes had passed. Time had lifted its foot from the accelerator and was slowly coasting to a stop. I would be trapped in that pain for a hundred thousand years.

SICK MAN: This, I realized, is what immortality must be like: staring at the clock, waiting for it to tick over, waiting for time to pass and for the sun to rise and things to get better… But it doesn’t. And it doesn’t. And it doesn’t.

SICK MAN: I’m sorry, you were probably just asking to be polite.
CON MAN: Actually I was just trying to distract you while my dog picked your pockets!

{{header: toss and turn at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: the stomach flu is like Nature picking your body’s pockets OVER and OVER and OVER again – and not finding anything but VILENESS, but still COMING BACK to TRY AGAIN. Nature is DISGUSTING}}

#753; A Mean Glimpse of Eternity transcribed by in

CON MAN: How was your weekend?
SICK MAN: I was torn into by an illness left over from the plagues of Egypt.

SICK MAN: By day, I lay on the ground moaning and rocking in agony... By night, I stared at the ceiling, willing sleep to come, begging some spirit of rest to glance over my shattered body and, sighing, say "I'll take him." After hours of this I would look at the clock and realize only minutes had passed. Time had lifted its foot from the accelerator and was slowly coasting to a stop. I would be trapped in that pain for a hundred thousand years.

SICK MAN: This, I realized, is what immortality must be like: staring at the clock, waiting for it to tick over, waiting for time to pass and for the sun to rise and things to get better... But it doesn't. And it doesn't. And it doesn't.

SICK MAN: I'm sorry, you were probably just asking to be polite.
CON MAN: Actually I was just trying to distract you while my dog picked your pockets!

{{header: toss and turn at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: the stomach flu is like Nature picking your body's pockets OVER and OVER and OVER again - and not finding anything but VILENESS, but still COMING BACK to TRY AGAIN. Nature is DISGUSTING}}

the stomach flu is like Nature picking your body's pockets OVER and OVER and OVER again - and not finding anything but VILENESS, but still COMING BACK to TRY AGAIN. Nature is DISGUSTING

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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