Comic Transcripts

LAURENCE: Guess who’s here, kids! Santa Claus!
SANTA: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
KIDS: YAAAAYYYYY

EMMA: Oh, Laurence. You did it! You really found a Santa! Where?how??
LAURENCE: I know some people who know some people. I told you I’d handle it!
SANTA [[off-panel]]: Were you kids good this year? Did you eat sufficient numbers of plants?
KIDS [[also off-panel]]: We ate some plants

SANTA: Santa is very concerned with your cellulose intake! It’s how he tracks you! I’ve also brought some pickled marzipan! Its horridness will stimulate your bile ducts and make you smell less appetizing to the stingroaches I have also brought you. You should start taking their venom in small doses now, while you are still larval. Be cautious! They are not tame.

LAURENCE: STICK TO THE SCRIPT.
SANTA [[now revealed to be our friend GAX]]: I’m the one doing YOU the favor here!

{{header: he knows when you’ve been to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Becoming immune to stingroach venom will help you stay conscious through the Cleansing. (Christmas is a bit different on Gax.)}}

#687; In which Santa appears at last transcribed by in

LAURENCE: Guess who’s here, kids! Santa Claus!
SANTA: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
KIDS: YAAAAYYYYY

EMMA: Oh, Laurence. You did it! You really found a Santa! Where?how??
LAURENCE: I know some people who know some people. I told you I’d handle it!
SANTA [[off-panel]]: Were you kids good this year? Did you eat sufficient numbers of plants?
KIDS [[also off-panel]]: We ate some plants

SANTA: Santa is very concerned with your cellulose intake! It’s how he tracks you! I’ve also brought some pickled marzipan! Its horridness will stimulate your bile ducts and make you smell less appetizing to the stingroaches I have also brought you. You should start taking their venom in small doses now, while you are still larval. Be cautious! They are not tame.

LAURENCE: STICK TO THE SCRIPT.
SANTA [[now revealed to be our friend GAX]]: I’m the one doing YOU the favor here!

{{header: he knows when you’ve been to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Becoming immune to stingroach venom will help you stay conscious through the Cleansing. (Christmas is a bit different on Gax.)}}

#687; In which Santa appears at last transcribed by in

LAURENCE: Guess who's here, kids! Santa Claus!
SANTA: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
KIDS: YAAAAYYYYY

EMMA: Oh, Laurence. You did it! You really found a Santa! Where?how??
LAURENCE: I know some people who know some people. I told you I'd handle it!
SANTA [[off-panel]]: Were you kids good this year? Did you eat sufficient numbers of plants?
KIDS [[also off-panel]]: We ate some plants

SANTA: Santa is very concerned with your cellulose intake! It's how he tracks you! I've also brought some pickled marzipan! Its horridness will stimulate your bile ducts and make you smell less appetizing to the stingroaches I have also brought you. You should start taking their venom in small doses now, while you are still larval. Be cautious! They are not tame.

LAURENCE: STICK TO THE SCRIPT.
SANTA [[now revealed to be our friend GAX]]: I'm the one doing YOU the favor here!

{{header: he knows when you've been to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Becoming immune to stingroach venom will help you stay conscious through the Cleansing. (Christmas is a bit different on Gax.)}}

Becoming immune to stingroach venom will help you stay conscious through the Cleansing. (Christmas is a bit different on Gax.)

In case you’re not familiar, Gax the horrible shapeshifting alien is one of our regular players.

New ways to get Bolted!

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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