#681; Ill-thought-out Melon-thievery

Comic Transcripts

IVAN: Pardon me, sir.
SIG: What? What IS it? I’m trying to SHOP!
IVAN: I’m sorry to bother you. It’s just…it appears that you are attempting to steal watermelons?

SIG [[we now see his bulging pants]]: How DARE you!

SIG: I have GLOBULAR THIGH DISORDER! It’s a very rare condition that renders my thighs the exact shape of watermelons! It’s miserable to live with!
IVAN: Sorry, sir. We just have to check when it seems…
SIG: SEEMS WHAT? I am discriminated against enough without your petty accusations on top of it all!
IVAN: You have our full apology.

ALICIA: So did you steal them watermelons?
SIG: Naw, I couldn’t on account of my globular thighs

{{alt-text: He’d gotten halfway to the market before the swelling started up again. ‘Well,’ he thought to himself, ‘let’s see if I can still pull this off.’ He couldn’t — either the plan, or, later at home, his pants.}}

#681; Ill-thought-out Melon-thievery transcribed by in

IVAN: Pardon me, sir.
SIG: What? What IS it? I’m trying to SHOP!
IVAN: I’m sorry to bother you. It’s just…it appears that you are attempting to steal watermelons?

SIG [[we now see his bulging pants]]: How DARE you!

ALICIA: So did you steal them watermelons?
SIG: Naw, I couldn’t on account of my globular thighs

#681; Ill-thought-out Melon-thievery transcribed by in

Bolted! games have been shipping to backers over the last couple of weeks! The non-US orders are (mostly) done and some folks have been reporting receiving them already!

@davidmalki.com My game arrived today!! It looks gorgeous 🙂 Hope you are well 🙂

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— Lar deSouza (@lartist.bsky.social) April 2, 2026 at 2:52 PM

My US inventory of games is now in-country, but still being staged at the fulfillment centers. It’s being distributed to regional warehouses, so the actual shipping to backers happens more efficiently. I hope the bulk of US shipping will start next week.

These are what the cartons (and games) look like!

bolted! games BOLTED! GAMES (pounding the table) B O L T E D ! G A M E S

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— david malki ! (@davidmalki.com) April 3, 2026 at 10:37 AM

I am also waiting on the bonus cards to be finished printing! I ended up needing many more of those than I had anticipated, so I decided to have the game factory print those too, for perfect matching with the base game cards.

Most people will be receiving two separate mailings: the game itself, and “anything else” (bonus cards and/or add-ons) which will be sent by me personally.

As of today, 86% of backers have completed their surveys so far! That’s pretty good, but it’s not everyone. I know YOU PERSONALLY have already completed YOURS though, so no worries!!

We have now moved OFF of Kickstarter and ONTO BackerKit for any new orders. You can bundle a game with basically anything else I sell on that there website, it’s pretty nuts!