Comic Transcripts

IVAN: Pardon me, sir.
SIG: What? What IS it? I’m trying to SHOP!
IVAN: I’m sorry to bother you. It’s just…it appears that you are attempting to steal watermelons?

SIG [[we now see his bulging pants]]: How DARE you!

SIG: I have GLOBULAR THIGH DISORDER! It’s a very rare condition that renders my thighs the exact shape of watermelons! It’s miserable to live with!
IVAN: Sorry, sir. We just have to check when it seems…
SIG: SEEMS WHAT? I am discriminated against enough without your petty accusations on top of it all!
IVAN: You have our full apology.

ALICIA: So did you steal them watermelons?
SIG: Naw, I couldn’t on account of my globular thighs

{{header: swell up to WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: He’d gotten halfway to the market before the swelling started up again. ‘Well,’ he thought to himself, ‘let’s see if I can still pull this off.’ He couldn’t — either the plan, or, later at home, his pants.}}

#681; Ill-thought-out Melon-thievery transcribed by in

IVAN: Pardon me, sir.
SIG: What? What IS it? I’m trying to SHOP!
IVAN: I’m sorry to bother you. It’s just…it appears that you are attempting to steal watermelons?

SIG [[we now see his bulging pants]]: How DARE you!

SIG: I have GLOBULAR THIGH DISORDER! It’s a very rare condition that renders my thighs the exact shape of watermelons! It’s miserable to live with!
IVAN: Sorry, sir. We just have to check when it seems…
SIG: SEEMS WHAT? I am discriminated against enough without your petty accusations on top of it all!
IVAN: You have our full apology.

ALICIA: So did you steal them watermelons?
SIG: Naw, I couldn’t on account of my globular thighs

{{header: swell up to WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: He’d gotten halfway to the market before the swelling started up again. ‘Well,’ he thought to himself, ‘let’s see if I can still pull this off.’ He couldn’t — either the plan, or, later at home, his pants.}}

#681; Ill-thought-out Melon-thievery transcribed by in

IVAN: Pardon me, sir.
SIG: What? What IS it? I'm trying to SHOP!
IVAN: I'm sorry to bother you. It's just...it appears that you are attempting to steal watermelons?

SIG [[we now see his bulging pants]]: How DARE you!

SIG: I have GLOBULAR THIGH DISORDER! It's a very rare condition that renders my thighs the exact shape of watermelons! It's miserable to live with!
IVAN: Sorry, sir. We just have to check when it seems...
SIG: SEEMS WHAT? I am discriminated against enough without your petty accusations on top of it all!
IVAN: You have our full apology.

ALICIA: So did you steal them watermelons?
SIG: Naw, I couldn't on account of my globular thighs

{{header: swell up to WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: He'd gotten halfway to the market before the swelling started up again. 'Well,' he thought to himself, 'let's see if I can still pull this off.' He couldn't -- either the plan, or, later at home, his pants.}}

He'd gotten halfway to the market before the swelling started up again. 'Well,' he thought to himself, 'let's see if I can still pull this off.' He couldn't -- either the plan or, later, at home, his pants.

New ways to get Bolted!

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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