Comic Transcripts

IVAN: Pardon me, sir.
SIG: What? What IS it? I’m trying to SHOP!
IVAN: I’m sorry to bother you. It’s just…it appears that you are attempting to steal watermelons?

SIG [[we now see his bulging pants]]: How DARE you!

SIG: I have GLOBULAR THIGH DISORDER! It’s a very rare condition that renders my thighs the exact shape of watermelons! It’s miserable to live with!
IVAN: Sorry, sir. We just have to check when it seems…
SIG: SEEMS WHAT? I am discriminated against enough without your petty accusations on top of it all!
IVAN: You have our full apology.

ALICIA: So did you steal them watermelons?
SIG: Naw, I couldn’t on account of my globular thighs

{{header: swell up to WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: He’d gotten halfway to the market before the swelling started up again. ‘Well,’ he thought to himself, ‘let’s see if I can still pull this off.’ He couldn’t — either the plan, or, later at home, his pants.}}

#681; Ill-thought-out Melon-thievery transcribed by in

IVAN: Pardon me, sir.
SIG: What? What IS it? I’m trying to SHOP!
IVAN: I’m sorry to bother you. It’s just…it appears that you are attempting to steal watermelons?

SIG [[we now see his bulging pants]]: How DARE you!

SIG: I have GLOBULAR THIGH DISORDER! It’s a very rare condition that renders my thighs the exact shape of watermelons! It’s miserable to live with!
IVAN: Sorry, sir. We just have to check when it seems…
SIG: SEEMS WHAT? I am discriminated against enough without your petty accusations on top of it all!
IVAN: You have our full apology.

ALICIA: So did you steal them watermelons?
SIG: Naw, I couldn’t on account of my globular thighs

{{header: swell up to WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: He’d gotten halfway to the market before the swelling started up again. ‘Well,’ he thought to himself, ‘let’s see if I can still pull this off.’ He couldn’t — either the plan, or, later at home, his pants.}}

#681; Ill-thought-out Melon-thievery transcribed by in

IVAN: Pardon me, sir.
SIG: What? What IS it? I'm trying to SHOP!
IVAN: I'm sorry to bother you. It's just...it appears that you are attempting to steal watermelons?

SIG [[we now see his bulging pants]]: How DARE you!

SIG: I have GLOBULAR THIGH DISORDER! It's a very rare condition that renders my thighs the exact shape of watermelons! It's miserable to live with!
IVAN: Sorry, sir. We just have to check when it seems...
SIG: SEEMS WHAT? I am discriminated against enough without your petty accusations on top of it all!
IVAN: You have our full apology.

ALICIA: So did you steal them watermelons?
SIG: Naw, I couldn't on account of my globular thighs

{{header: swell up to WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: He'd gotten halfway to the market before the swelling started up again. 'Well,' he thought to himself, 'let's see if I can still pull this off.' He couldn't -- either the plan, or, later at home, his pants.}}

He'd gotten halfway to the market before the swelling started up again. 'Well,' he thought to himself, 'let's see if I can still pull this off.' He couldn't -- either the plan or, later, at home, his pants.

#681; Ill-thought-out Melon-thievery

  — November 30th, 2010

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/681/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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