Comic Transcripts

IVAN: Pardon me, sir.
SIG: What? What IS it? I’m trying to SHOP!
IVAN: I’m sorry to bother you. It’s just…it appears that you are attempting to steal watermelons?

SIG [[we now see his bulging pants]]: How DARE you!

SIG: I have GLOBULAR THIGH DISORDER! It’s a very rare condition that renders my thighs the exact shape of watermelons! It’s miserable to live with!
IVAN: Sorry, sir. We just have to check when it seems…
SIG: SEEMS WHAT? I am discriminated against enough without your petty accusations on top of it all!
IVAN: You have our full apology.

ALICIA: So did you steal them watermelons?
SIG: Naw, I couldn’t on account of my globular thighs

{{header: swell up to WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: He’d gotten halfway to the market before the swelling started up again. ‘Well,’ he thought to himself, ‘let’s see if I can still pull this off.’ He couldn’t — either the plan, or, later at home, his pants.}}

#681; Ill-thought-out Melon-thievery transcribed by in

IVAN: Pardon me, sir.
SIG: What? What IS it? I’m trying to SHOP!
IVAN: I’m sorry to bother you. It’s just…it appears that you are attempting to steal watermelons?

SIG [[we now see his bulging pants]]: How DARE you!

SIG: I have GLOBULAR THIGH DISORDER! It’s a very rare condition that renders my thighs the exact shape of watermelons! It’s miserable to live with!
IVAN: Sorry, sir. We just have to check when it seems…
SIG: SEEMS WHAT? I am discriminated against enough without your petty accusations on top of it all!
IVAN: You have our full apology.

ALICIA: So did you steal them watermelons?
SIG: Naw, I couldn’t on account of my globular thighs

{{header: swell up to WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: He’d gotten halfway to the market before the swelling started up again. ‘Well,’ he thought to himself, ‘let’s see if I can still pull this off.’ He couldn’t — either the plan, or, later at home, his pants.}}

#681; Ill-thought-out Melon-thievery transcribed by in

IVAN: Pardon me, sir.
SIG: What? What IS it? I'm trying to SHOP!
IVAN: I'm sorry to bother you. It's just...it appears that you are attempting to steal watermelons?

SIG [[we now see his bulging pants]]: How DARE you!

SIG: I have GLOBULAR THIGH DISORDER! It's a very rare condition that renders my thighs the exact shape of watermelons! It's miserable to live with!
IVAN: Sorry, sir. We just have to check when it seems...
SIG: SEEMS WHAT? I am discriminated against enough without your petty accusations on top of it all!
IVAN: You have our full apology.

ALICIA: So did you steal them watermelons?
SIG: Naw, I couldn't on account of my globular thighs

{{header: swell up to WONDERMARK.COM}}

{{alt-text: He'd gotten halfway to the market before the swelling started up again. 'Well,' he thought to himself, 'let's see if I can still pull this off.' He couldn't -- either the plan, or, later at home, his pants.}}

He'd gotten halfway to the market before the swelling started up again. 'Well,' he thought to himself, 'let's see if I can still pull this off.' He couldn't -- either the plan or, later, at home, his pants.

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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