#659; O Theoretical Saviors

Comic Transcripts

JAMES: I- I was playing with my truck? A-and it fell into a puddle and got muddy? Why do these things happen, Daddy? Why is the world full of misery?

ANTON: Think of it this way. In an infinite theoretical future, we’ve mastered time travel a million times over, right? That means than an infinite number of time travelers have already come back to fix everything that needed fixing. They’ve created the best possible universe for us! Anything bad that still happens must have been a compromise to prevent something even worse.

JAMES: But if humanity lasts long enough to master time travel, then wouldn’t we be overrun with time travelers? Doesn’t the fact that we’re not mean that humanity is doomed?
ANTON: We ARE overrun with time travelers, sweetie pie. You just don’t recognize them.

ANTON: All ants are actually humans from the future. Resource scarcity will not be kind to our evolution.
JAMES: This is just another trick to try and get me to worship ants

#659; O Theoretical Saviors transcribed by in

JAMES: I- I was playing with my truck? A-and it fell into a puddle and got muddy? Why do these things happen, Daddy? Why is the world full of misery?

ANTON: All ants are actually humans from the future. Resource scarcity will not be kind to our evolution.
JAMES: This is just another trick to try and get me to worship ants

#659; O Theoretical Saviors transcribed by in

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!