Comic Transcripts

RANDOLPH: I LIKE these novelty scissors, but…
Why is the price so much HIGHER than in the ads?
BEN: That’s because the advertised price includes a REBATE!

BEN: To claim it, all you have to do is send in your original receipt, a printout of a web form, and the UPC code from the packaging.
We’re hoping you won’t bother! So we won’t have to pay you!

RANDOLPH: What about this one? Does IT have a rebate too?
BEN: It sure DOES!
With this one, even if you DO send it in, we’ll conveniently “lose” your original UPC and claim we never got it.
“Nothing we can do! Must have been the post office!”
RANDOLPH: You would DO that?
BEN: What reason do we have NOT to?

RANDOLPH: Is THIS one any different?
BEN: THAT rebate is issued as a PREPAID VISA CARD.
You can use it a few times–until you’re stuck with a card that’s got $1.18 left on it. THEN, the card EXPIRES!
BASICALLY, we make it SO HARD for you to spend YOUR OWN MONEY, that we get to KEEP some of it!
As a REWARD!

BEN: And then there’s THIS one.
This is our most popular rebate.
Instead of DOLLARS, it’s paid in EXCRUCIATING GROIN-KICKS, administered by Hugo here.
HUGO: Hello.

RANDOLPH: People really choose that one?
BEN: Well, sure, given the options.

{{Header: whatta great deal at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: stymied at the novelty-scissor emporium!}}

#471; In which Bill ends up paying Full Price transcribed by in

RANDOLPH: I LIKE these novelty scissors, but…
Why is the price so much HIGHER than in the ads?
BEN: That’s because the advertised price includes a REBATE!

BEN: To claim it, all you have to do is send in your original receipt, a printout of a web form, and the UPC code from the packaging.
We’re hoping you won’t bother! So we won’t have to pay you!

RANDOLPH: What about this one? Does IT have a rebate too?
BEN: It sure DOES!
With this one, even if you DO send it in, we’ll conveniently “lose” your original UPC and claim we never got it.
“Nothing we can do! Must have been the post office!”
RANDOLPH: You would DO that?
BEN: What reason do we have NOT to?

RANDOLPH: Is THIS one any different?
BEN: THAT rebate is issued as a PREPAID VISA CARD.
You can use it a few times–until you’re stuck with a card that’s got $1.18 left on it. THEN, the card EXPIRES!
BASICALLY, we make it SO HARD for you to spend YOUR OWN MONEY, that we get to KEEP some of it!
As a REWARD!

BEN: And then there’s THIS one.
This is our most popular rebate.
Instead of DOLLARS, it’s paid in EXCRUCIATING GROIN-KICKS, administered by Hugo here.
HUGO: Hello.

RANDOLPH: People really choose that one?
BEN: Well, sure, given the options.

{{Header: whatta great deal at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: stymied at the novelty-scissor emporium!}}

#471; In which Bill ends up paying Full Price transcribed by in

RANDOLPH: I LIKE these novelty scissors, but...
Why is the price so much HIGHER than in the ads?
BEN: That's because the advertised price includes a REBATE!

BEN: To claim it, all you have to do is send in your original receipt, a printout of a web form, and the UPC code from the packaging.
We're hoping you won't bother! So we won't have to pay you!

RANDOLPH: What about this one? Does IT have a rebate too?
BEN: It sure DOES!
With this one, even if you DO send it in, we'll conveniently "lose" your original UPC and claim we never got it.
"Nothing we can do! Must have been the post office!"
RANDOLPH: You would DO that?
BEN: What reason do we have NOT to?

RANDOLPH: Is THIS one any different?
BEN: THAT rebate is issued as a PREPAID VISA CARD.
You can use it a few times--until you're stuck with a card that's got $1.18 left on it. THEN, the card EXPIRES!
BASICALLY, we make it SO HARD for you to spend YOUR OWN MONEY, that we get to KEEP some of it!
As a REWARD!

BEN: And then there's THIS one.
This is our most popular rebate.
Instead of DOLLARS, it's paid in EXCRUCIATING GROIN-KICKS, administered by Hugo here.
HUGO: Hello.

RANDOLPH: People really choose that one?
BEN: Well, sure, given the options.

{{Header: whatta great deal at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: stymied at the novelty-scissor emporium!}}

stymied at the novelty-scissor emporium!

#471; In which Bill ends up paying Full Price

  — December 12th, 2008

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/471/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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