Comic Transcripts

At a panel discussion at a convention. The moderator, Alegg, speaks into a microphone:

ALEGG: …All right, now we’ll do some Q+A. Anyone have a question for Herr Doktor?

(Sitting next to him is Wondermark’s supervillain character, Herr Doktor.)

An audience member, Auddy, takes the mic to address the panel.

AUDDY: Not a question, more of a COMMENT… Your discussion about apples reminded me of the time I attended a CIDER-BATHING CAMP in–

DOKTOR (cutting him off): WAIT wait wait wait wait wait wait wait HOLD up

DOKTOR: THIS is time during which there are to be QUESTIONS and those questions are to be ANSWERED. If YOU wish to make a statement, then I, ze other party in this exchange, must provide ze QUESTION! These are ze RULES!

DOKTOR: HERE IS MY QUESTION FOR YOU! You heard Alegg announce “Now is ze time for questions” and interpreted that to MEAN “This is my chance to waste everyone’s time by sharing my irrelevant opinion”! WHAT IS WRONG with you that you MADE that decision and then ACTED on it?

AUDDY: Now, I don’t think you’re being fair to the spirit of–

DOKTOR: ANSWER ZE QUESTION

#1393; In which the Floor is open transcribed by in

At a panel discussion at a convention. The moderator, Alegg, speaks into a microphone:

ALEGG: ...All right, now we'll do some Q+A. Anyone have a question for Herr Doktor?

(Sitting next to him is Wondermark's supervillain character, Herr Doktor.)

An audience member, Auddy, takes the mic to address the panel.

AUDDY: Not a question, more of a COMMENT... Your discussion about apples reminded me of the time I attended a CIDER-BATHING CAMP in--

DOKTOR (cutting him off): WAIT wait wait wait wait wait wait wait HOLD up

DOKTOR: THIS is time during which there are to be QUESTIONS and those questions are to be ANSWERED. If YOU wish to make a statement, then I, ze other party in this exchange, must provide ze QUESTION! These are ze RULES!

DOKTOR: HERE IS MY QUESTION FOR YOU! You heard Alegg announce "Now is ze time for questions" and interpreted that to MEAN "This is my chance to waste everyone's time by sharing my irrelevant opinion"! WHAT IS WRONG with you that you MADE that decision and then ACTED on it?

AUDDY: Now, I don't think you're being fair to the spirit of--

DOKTOR: ANSWER ZE QUESTION

One second later, the floor LITERALLY opens. The audience trapdoor is in Herr Doktor's rider.

Bolted! Fulfillment Update

Photo courtesy of backer Nicola!

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!


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