#1336; In which Much remains Unheard Of

Comic Transcripts

[[Indoors. A kitchen. CRAYLIA has earbuds in her ears, and her eyes closed. BARBATHA shouts from out of frame to get her attention.]]

BARBATHA: Hey Craylia, did you… CRAYLIA. CRAYLIA.

[[Craylia removes one earbud and turns toward Barbatha with her eyes open.]]

CRAYLIA: OH, sorry! I was just–
BARBATHA: Drums deep in a PODCAST, I know!
CRAYLIA: Yes, I like to fill my idle moments with enlightenment and entertainment! Right now I’m listening to one called EYE BEFORE ME.

CRAYLIA: The hosts track down and interview ALL THE PREVIOUS OWNERS of a subject’s GLASS EYE. It’s actually quite fascinating…full of pathos AND interesting tidbits about the glass eye secondary market. Did you know ALL KNOWN GLASS EYES were manufactured between 1740 and 1915? NONE since then! The WAR killed the last guy who knew the secret! Like STRADIVARIUS!

BARBATHA: Sorry, I started singing to myself when I sensed you growing excited.
CRAYLIA: Seeing a FULL PLAYLIST is like pulling a warm blanket out of the dryer. I never have to be alone. Podcasts are the promise of the internet made real. No matter what I’m into, or what mood I’m in, SOMEONE out there is making something that speaks to me.
BARBATHA: I’d feel like I was in front of a firehose. Are you LISTENING to them all? Or are they just building up in your phone like digital cholesterol?

[[Craylia has returned her earpod to her ear and closed her eyes again.]]

CRAYLIA: Right now I’ve got unlistened-to episodes totaling… 875,122 HOURS.
BARBATHA: That’s TWICE as long as you’re likely to LIVE!
CRAYLIA: Well…there’s actually a lot of promising research being done into increasing the human lifespan… I heard about it on a podcast

#1336; In which Much remains Unheard Of transcribed by in

[[Indoors. A kitchen. CRAYLIA has earbuds in her ears, and her eyes closed. BARBATHA shouts from out of frame to get her attention.]]

BARBATHA: Hey Craylia, did you... CRAYLIA. CRAYLIA.

[[Craylia removes one earbud and turns toward Barbatha with her eyes open.]]

CRAYLIA: OH, sorry! I was just--
BARBATHA: Drums deep in a PODCAST, I know!
CRAYLIA: Yes, I like to fill my idle moments with enlightenment and entertainment! Right now I'm listening to one called EYE BEFORE ME.

CRAYLIA: The hosts track down and interview ALL THE PREVIOUS OWNERS of a subject's GLASS EYE. It's actually quite fascinating...full of pathos AND interesting tidbits about the glass eye secondary market. Did you know ALL KNOWN GLASS EYES were manufactured between 1740 and 1915? NONE since then! The WAR killed the last guy who knew the secret! Like STRADIVARIUS!

BARBATHA: Sorry, I started singing to myself when I sensed you growing excited.
CRAYLIA: Seeing a FULL PLAYLIST is like pulling a warm blanket out of the dryer. I never have to be alone. Podcasts are the promise of the internet made real. No matter what I'm into, or what mood I'm in, SOMEONE out there is making something that speaks to me.
BARBATHA: I'd feel like I was in front of a firehose. Are you LISTENING to them all? Or are they just building up in your phone like digital cholesterol?

[[Craylia has returned her earpod to her ear and closed her eyes again.]]

The bigger question is, what am I gonna do with all these Casper mattresses???