Comic Transcripts

[[MIDGERIE eyes a piece of paper that SHMORACE has discarded in a basket.]]

MIDGERIE: You’re throwing this away?

SHMORACE: Why would I need a perfect attendance certificate from my elementary school?

[[Midgerie extracts the certificate.]]

MIDGERIE:  It has that gold filigree around the edges. That makes it seem IMPORTANT

MIDGERIE: Would anyone ever want to see it?

SHMORACE: Not a chance.

MIDGERIE: Doesn’t it remind you of more carefree times?

SHMORACE: Sure–

SHMORACE: But I don’t need it.  If I EVER needed it, I no longer do.  NO ONE needs it.  It will benefit more lives recycled into a milk carton.

SHMORACE: Perfect attendance doesn’t matter to me now because TODAY, I can express that SAME conscientious impulse by confidently deciding that I don’t need this decades-old piece of paper.

[[Shmorace punctuates the declaration by dropping the certificate back in the basket.]]

MIDGERIE:  At least take a picture

[[Shmorace takes a picture of it with his cell phone]]

SFX: click

MIDGERIE: If you were in my class, I’d have thrown you out on the last day of school just to PREVENT you from getting that certificate.

SHMORACE: That could have spared us this ENTIRE DISCUSSION

{{header: a thorough review of WONDERMARK.COM}}

#1252; In which War is waged, Part 1 transcribed by in

[[MIDGERIE eyes a piece of paper that SHMORACE has discarded in a basket.]]

MIDGERIE: You're throwing this away?

SHMORACE: Why would I need a perfect attendance certificate from my elementary school?

[[Midgerie extracts the certificate.]]

MIDGERIE:  It has that gold filigree around the edges. That makes it seem IMPORTANT

MIDGERIE: Would anyone ever want to see it?

SHMORACE: Not a chance.

MIDGERIE: Doesn't it remind you of more carefree times?

SHMORACE: Sure--

SHMORACE: But I don't need it.  If I EVER needed it, I no longer do.  NO ONE needs it.  It will benefit more lives recycled into a milk carton.

SHMORACE: Perfect attendance doesn't matter to me now because TODAY, I can express that SAME conscientious impulse by confidently deciding that I don't need this decades-old piece of paper.

[[Shmorace punctuates the declaration by dropping the certificate back in the basket.]]

MIDGERIE:  At least take a picture

[[Shmorace takes a picture of it with his cell phone]]

SFX: click

MIDGERIE: If you were in my class, I'd have thrown you out on the last day of school just to PREVENT you from getting that certificate.

SHMORACE: That could have spared us this ENTIRE DISCUSSION

{{header: a thorough review of WONDERMARK.COM}}

We have been using a LOT of gunpowder so WHEREVER they're hiding, they have DEFINITELY heard the shots.

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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