Comic Transcripts

[[A courtroom scene. A man, BLATHERTON, addresses a jury while gesturing toward a bearded man, GRIMWALD, who sits at a table. Maybe the witness stand? Not entirely clear.]]

BLATHERTON: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury!
BLATHERTON: I would like to LIST the acts this man has FREELY ADMITTED TO!!

BLATHERTON: FACT! This man lured people into his LAIR. FACT! The victims were DRUGGED, rendering them unable to defend themselves.
BLATHERTON: FACT! This man then SLASHED open the victims’ bodies with a razor-sharp knife. FACT! His hands DRIPPING with the victims’ blood, he literally CUT OUT THEIR HEARTS while they were STILL ALIVE.

BLATHERTON: But this sick ritual was not over! FACT! This man then REPLACED his victims’ hearts with ones TAKEN FROM CORPSES!!
BLATHERTON: Sometimes his victims DIED from the trauma! Other times they regained consciousness with NO MEMORY of the gruesome procedure, and managed to escape — with THE HEART OF A DEAD STRANGER TRAPPED IN THEIR BODY!

BLATHERTON: And he was PAID by OBAMACARE to do it!!
GRIMWALD: I feel it must be mentioned that I am, in fact, a heart surgeon
BLATHERTON: YOU don’t get to decide what I find deplorable!!

{{header: up in arms at WONDERMARK.COM}}

#1163; An Account of the Offense transcribed by in

[[A courtroom scene. A man, BLATHERTON, addresses a jury while gesturing toward a bearded man, GRIMWALD, who sits at a table. Maybe the witness stand? Not entirely clear.]]

BLATHERTON: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury!
BLATHERTON: I would like to LIST the acts this man has FREELY ADMITTED TO!!

BLATHERTON: FACT! This man lured people into his LAIR. FACT! The victims were DRUGGED, rendering them unable to defend themselves.
BLATHERTON: FACT! This man then SLASHED open the victims' bodies with a razor-sharp knife. FACT! His hands DRIPPING with the victims' blood, he literally CUT OUT THEIR HEARTS while they were STILL ALIVE.

BLATHERTON: But this sick ritual was not over! FACT! This man then REPLACED his victims' hearts with ones TAKEN FROM CORPSES!!
BLATHERTON: Sometimes his victims DIED from the trauma! Other times they regained consciousness with NO MEMORY of the gruesome procedure, and managed to escape -- with THE HEART OF A DEAD STRANGER TRAPPED IN THEIR BODY!

BLATHERTON: And he was PAID by OBAMACARE to do it!!
GRIMWALD: I feel it must be mentioned that I am, in fact, a heart surgeon
BLATHERTON: YOU don't get to decide what I find deplorable!!

{{header: up in arms at WONDERMARK.COM}}

If he had EATEN the hearts, I could at least understand the hunter's mindset -- but he THREW THEM AWAY like it was so much SPORT!!

#1163; An Account of the Offense

  — October 2nd, 2015

[ Tags: , , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1163/

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New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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