Comic Transcripts

[[TEDDICUS and BILLOCLES hang out.]]

TEDDICUS: Losing weight is burning calories, right?  You work out to generate HEAT?  I decided I’d skip the middleman!  Now I only eat food that’s ALREADY HOT!  So it’s got LESS FAR to GO!

BILLOCLES:  I’m not sure that’s actually how calories work?

TEDDICUS: OH! You’re NOT SURE? WELL then!  I AM sure, so guess who wins?

TEDDICUS: See, YOUR problem is you’re always worried you MIGHT BE WRONG.  If you’re always trying to DISPROVE things and poke holes in logic and dismiss incomplete evidence, you’ll SUCCEED–but you’ll never be satisfied!

TEDDICUS: You’ll just pick an arbitrary point where you’re satisfied for the time being–until some NEW information comes along to capsize the whole boat!  What a miserable life!  Scrabbling for scraps of validation!

TEDDICUS: My way of thinking is much simpler.  I’m just right all the time.  No mess, no fuss!  Never have to wonder, never have to worry!  It’s very liberating.

BILLOCLES: But what if you’re…wrong?

TEDDICUS: Seriously, dude, you need to seek therapy because there is that OBSESSION again.

{{header: of course, it’s WONDERMARK.COM}}

#1097; Always Right has Never Left transcribed by in

[[TEDDICUS and BILLOCLES hang out.]]

TEDDICUS: Losing weight is burning calories, right?  You work out to generate HEAT?  I decided I'd skip the middleman!  Now I only eat food that's ALREADY HOT!  So it's got LESS FAR to GO!

BILLOCLES:  I'm not sure that's actually how calories work?

TEDDICUS: OH! You're NOT SURE? WELL then!  I AM sure, so guess who wins?

TEDDICUS: See, YOUR problem is you're always worried you MIGHT BE WRONG.  If you're always trying to DISPROVE things and poke holes in logic and dismiss incomplete evidence, you'll SUCCEED--but you'll never be satisfied!

TEDDICUS: You'll just pick an arbitrary point where you're satisfied for the time being--until some NEW information comes along to capsize the whole boat!  What a miserable life!  Scrabbling for scraps of validation!

TEDDICUS: My way of thinking is much simpler.  I'm just right all the time.  No mess, no fuss!  Never have to wonder, never have to worry!  It's very liberating.

BILLOCLES: But what if you're...wrong?

TEDDICUS: Seriously, dude, you need to seek therapy because there is that OBSESSION again.

{{header: of course, it's WONDERMARK.COM}}

once I THOUGHT I was wrong but then I remembered the definition of Always Right and, whew!

#1097; Always Right has Never Left

  — January 29th, 2015

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1097/

Buy a Print

New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


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