Comic Transcripts

[[A man in a top hat and another with mutton chops are at a restaurant. The waiter approaches.]]
Waiter: Ready for the bill?
Tophat: Actually, in the interest of hyperlocal community interplay, we would like to propose a barter system.
Tophat: Rather than BUYING these burgers, we would like to simply BORROW them and bring you back two burgers later this week.

Tophat: Alternately, we could bake you a birthday cake.
Waiter: That is not going to work.
Tophat: You’re right! MY cake is worth at least FOUR burgers. You would end up owing us EXTRA BURGERS.

Waiter: Five minutes ago you both ate time-release burger bombs. If I don’t deactivate them, you are not going to survive the drive home.
Chops: Actually we’re WALKING home, so no worries
Tophat: We’ll be back later with the cake.

[[The waiter pursues the fleeing pair in a car. Tophat’s top hat has fallen off; he is sweating.]]
Tophat: THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO BUILD A SUSTAINABLE MICROECONOMY

{{header: dine out at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Pshaw, like the birthday cake WOULDN’T have been full of time-release burger bombs}}

#1078; In which a Meal is bartered transcribed by in

[[A man in a top hat and another with mutton chops are at a restaurant. The waiter approaches.]]
Waiter: Ready for the bill?
Tophat: Actually, in the interest of hyperlocal community interplay, we would like to propose a barter system.
Tophat: Rather than BUYING these burgers, we would like to simply BORROW them and bring you back two burgers later this week.

Tophat: Alternately, we could bake you a birthday cake.
Waiter: That is not going to work.
Tophat: You’re right! MY cake is worth at least FOUR burgers. You would end up owing us EXTRA BURGERS.

Waiter: Five minutes ago you both ate time-release burger bombs. If I don’t deactivate them, you are not going to survive the drive home.
Chops: Actually we’re WALKING home, so no worries
Tophat: We’ll be back later with the cake.

[[The waiter pursues the fleeing pair in a car. Tophat’s top hat has fallen off; he is sweating.]]
Tophat: THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO BUILD A SUSTAINABLE MICROECONOMY

{{header: dine out at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Pshaw, like the birthday cake WOULDN’T have been full of time-release burger bombs}}

#1078; In which a Meal is bartered transcribed by in

[[A man in a top hat and another with mutton chops are at a restaurant. The waiter approaches.]]
Waiter: Ready for the bill?
Tophat: Actually, in the interest of hyperlocal community interplay, we would like to propose a barter system.
Tophat: Rather than BUYING these burgers, we would like to simply BORROW them and bring you back two burgers later this week.

Tophat: Alternately, we could bake you a birthday cake.
Waiter: That is not going to work.
Tophat: You're right! MY cake is worth at least FOUR burgers. You would end up owing us EXTRA BURGERS.

Waiter: Five minutes ago you both ate time-release burger bombs. If I don't deactivate them, you are not going to survive the drive home.
Chops: Actually we're WALKING home, so no worries
Tophat: We'll be back later with the cake.

[[The waiter pursues the fleeing pair in a car. Tophat's top hat has fallen off; he is sweating.]]
Tophat: THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO BUILD A SUSTAINABLE MICROECONOMY

{{header: dine out at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Pshaw, like the birthday cake WOULDN'T have been full of time-release burger bombs}}

Pshaw, like the birthday cake WOULDN'T have been full of time-release burger bombs

#1078; In which a Meal is bartered

  — November 21st, 2014

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1078/

Buy a Print

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


Recent blog posts