Comic Transcripts

[[A sinister-looking individual in a top hat accosts two people standing behind a shop counter – presumably the shopkeeper and an assistant (or perhaps spouse). The shopkeeper is quite frightened; Spiro appears to be extorting them.]]
Spiro: BINGO time, compadre!
Spiro: Your friendly neighborhood bill collector!
Shopkeeper: O-oh hello Spiro
Shopkeeper: Y-yes of course I just need to gather the, er, uh, necessary papers

[[The shopkeeper runs off, sweating.]]
Shopkeeper: I’ll only be a moment
Spiro: Make it quick! You knew I was coming!
Spiro: Hate to see anything UNFORTUNATE happen in your absence!

[[The assistant and Spiro stare at each other.]]

Assistant: So, how’s business?
Spiro: Oh, busy, very busy. We’re always slammed this time of year.

Spiro: Always SOMETHING to do!
Assistant: Better than being idle, huh?
Spiro: Absolutely. Lot of plates to keep spinning, but at least it’s work!

Assistant: Yeah, same here. Counting our blessings.
Spiro: Exactly, exactly. Good problems to have.

[[The shopkeeper returns with a huge bag marked “$”.]]
Shopkeeper: It’s all there – every last cent – but I BEG you to SPARE us – the winter will be so cold!
Spiro: HA! Rather burn this place down, THAT’LL keep you warm!!

[[Spiro leaves.]]
Spiro: Have a good one
Shopkeeper: Take care

{{header: give it up to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: How’s the wife, kids? Starving in a freezing basement due to my criminal acts of extortion? Tsk, tsk, shame, really. Whaddaya gonna do}}

#1028; Business as Usual transcribed by in

[[A sinister-looking individual in a top hat accosts two people standing behind a shop counter - presumably the shopkeeper and an assistant (or perhaps spouse). The shopkeeper is quite frightened; Spiro appears to be extorting them.]]
Spiro: BINGO time, compadre!
Spiro: Your friendly neighborhood bill collector!
Shopkeeper: O-oh hello Spiro
Shopkeeper: Y-yes of course I just need to gather the, er, uh, necessary papers

[[The shopkeeper runs off, sweating.]]
Shopkeeper: I'll only be a moment
Spiro: Make it quick! You knew I was coming!
Spiro: Hate to see anything UNFORTUNATE happen in your absence!

[[The assistant and Spiro stare at each other.]]

Assistant: So, how's business?
Spiro: Oh, busy, very busy. We're always slammed this time of year.

Spiro: Always SOMETHING to do!
Assistant: Better than being idle, huh?
Spiro: Absolutely. Lot of plates to keep spinning, but at least it's work!

Assistant: Yeah, same here. Counting our blessings.
Spiro: Exactly, exactly. Good problems to have.

[[The shopkeeper returns with a huge bag marked "$".]]
Shopkeeper: It's all there - every last cent - but I BEG you to SPARE us - the winter will be so cold!
Spiro: HA! Rather burn this place down, THAT'LL keep you warm!!

[[Spiro leaves.]]
Spiro: Have a good one
Shopkeeper: Take care

{{header: give it up to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: How's the wife, kids? Starving in a freezing basement due to my criminal acts of extortion? Tsk, tsk, shame, really. Whaddaya gonna do}}

How's the wife, kids? Starving in a freezing basement due to my criminal acts of extortion? Tsk, tsk, shame, really. Whaddaya gonna do

My newest game: Noodle Battle! At PAX!

The past few weeks have been a frenzy of assembling the very laborious, very bespoke first print run of NOODLE BATTLE, the puzzle game I am releasing this weekend at PAX West in Seattle!

PAX has an event called the PNW Tabletop Game Market (Saturday night ONLY), which is a curated selection of short-run games from local designers. As I’ve mentioned in this space before, I applied for a space in this fall’s event mainly as a way to force myself to finish a new game. And here it is!

The drawings are all by Jason Poland, good pal and cartoonist of My Dad Is Dracula. Jason played an early version of this game at Alaska Robotics Comics Camp this spring, and really liked it!

So I said, “Do you want to help me make it?” And so he has! It was his idea to make all the characters fun little animals, and I think it adds a ton of charm.

Because this edition is limited-run, it has been incredibly labor-intensive to make! The boxes and cards were made by a game factory in the usual fashion, but separately. The blank tiles were made by a woodworker dude out of Connecticut. For each game, we have had to:

  • Cut a piece of plastic and install the box window
  • Paint all the tiles, hundreds at a time
  • Apply a sticker to both sides of every tile
  • Apply stickers to the box (we couldn’t get the box back printed in time, so the whole back side of the box is a sticker too)
  • Apply the “Nutrition Facts” sticker, which was a late suggestion by my kid that I just had to run with
  • Fold up the rule sheet (they come from the printer as big strips of paper)
  • Put all the components into the box and seal it all up

I knew it would be a lot of work and would require some inefficient, expensive compromises AND I WAS RIGHT. But the final product is turning out great, which is the important thing!!

I will have 50 copies with me (if all goes well) at PAX, and then between now and the holidays we will be putting together additional copies to round out this first edition.

I will announce additional copies on Patreon first, once they are available online!! And here too, naturally, before long.

You can also sign up here if you’d like me to email you once the game is available online!


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