Comic Transcripts

RHONDA: Sammy! I heard you had some smart-aleck questions about Santa!
SAMMY: Some serious questions! And some puzzling doubts!
RHONDA: ?so let me head ’em off! Santa Claus?he’s just me, you hear? I’m all there is!

RHONDA: There ain’t no fat man in a big red suit. I mean there’s MEN, in malls around the world, but they ain’t Santa. They’re just doubles. DECOYS. Like Saddam. Agents. Puppets on a string. On MY string.

RHONDA: You listen close: I make all the toys. I give them out to boys and girls everywhere. I watch ’em all closely to see who’s eaten’ their greens and who’s actin’ out. ME. AND I put in fifty hours a week at the windshield place. That part you know about. Now you know why I’m so tired. That SETTLE it? No more QUESTIONS?

SAMMY: But – that makes even less logical sense than him being a separate entity!
RHONDA: Then your mind’s gonna EXPLODE when you figure out I am the TOOTH FAIRY and the EASTER BUNNY and the BIRTHDAY FROG too

{{header: do it all at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: FOR ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE WORLD. AS PART OF MY COMMUNITY SERVICE}}

#683; In which a Line of Questioning is halted transcribed by in

RHONDA: Sammy! I heard you had some smart-aleck questions about Santa!
SAMMY: Some serious questions! And some puzzling doubts!
RHONDA: ?so let me head ’em off! Santa Claus?he’s just me, you hear? I’m all there is!

RHONDA: There ain’t no fat man in a big red suit. I mean there’s MEN, in malls around the world, but they ain’t Santa. They’re just doubles. DECOYS. Like Saddam. Agents. Puppets on a string. On MY string.

RHONDA: You listen close: I make all the toys. I give them out to boys and girls everywhere. I watch ’em all closely to see who’s eaten’ their greens and who’s actin’ out. ME. AND I put in fifty hours a week at the windshield place. That part you know about. Now you know why I’m so tired. That SETTLE it? No more QUESTIONS?

SAMMY: But – that makes even less logical sense than him being a separate entity!
RHONDA: Then your mind’s gonna EXPLODE when you figure out I am the TOOTH FAIRY and the EASTER BUNNY and the BIRTHDAY FROG too

{{header: do it all at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: FOR ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE WORLD. AS PART OF MY COMMUNITY SERVICE}}

#683; In which a Line of Questioning is halted transcribed by in

RHONDA: Sammy! I heard you had some smart-aleck questions about Santa!
SAMMY: Some serious questions! And some puzzling doubts!
RHONDA: ?so let me head 'em off! Santa Claus?he's just me, you hear? I'm all there is!

RHONDA: There ain't no fat man in a big red suit. I mean there's MEN, in malls around the world, but they ain't Santa. They're just doubles. DECOYS. Like Saddam. Agents. Puppets on a string. On MY string.

RHONDA: You listen close: I make all the toys. I give them out to boys and girls everywhere. I watch 'em all closely to see who's eaten' their greens and who's actin' out. ME. AND I put in fifty hours a week at the windshield place. That part you know about. Now you know why I'm so tired. That SETTLE it? No more QUESTIONS?

SAMMY: But - that makes even less logical sense than him being a separate entity!
RHONDA: Then your mind's gonna EXPLODE when you figure out I am the TOOTH FAIRY and the EASTER BUNNY and the BIRTHDAY FROG too

{{header: do it all at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: FOR ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE WORLD. AS PART OF MY COMMUNITY SERVICE}}

FOR ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE WORLD. AS PART OF MY COMMUNITY SERVICE.

#683; In which a Line of Questioning is halted

  — December 7th, 2010

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/683/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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