Comic Transcripts

INSTRUCTOR: TERRIBLE. Terrible in every way. LOOK at this shoddy work.
His BANGS are crooked. SIDEBURNS look like spider’s nests. Poor fellow might as well have stuck his head in the GARBAGE DISPOSAL!
Imagine he’s going to a WEDDING. Oh, the dirty LOOKS he’ll receive! The PARIAH of his family!

INSTRUCTOR: At the Walforth Barber Academy, our credentialed graduates coif KINGS, POPES and EMPEROR-POPE-KINGS.
But I wouldn’t send a TWO-BIT BOULDER-LICKER into a carriage-filled ROADWAY wearing this cheapjack chop-job! Where is your PRIDE, sir!

STUDENT: The corpse kept shifting, sir. I did my level best.
Shall I take another go at him?
INSTRUCTOR: The head’s a lost cause. Let’s strip him down and begin the waxing test.
STUDENT: Okay this part’s pass/fail right?

{{Header: cut it close at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-Text: Walforth Barber Academy! WE BUY HAIRY CORPSES; enquire within.}}

#482; In which Hair is hacked at transcribed by in

INSTRUCTOR: TERRIBLE. Terrible in every way. LOOK at this shoddy work.
His BANGS are crooked. SIDEBURNS look like spider’s nests. Poor fellow might as well have stuck his head in the GARBAGE DISPOSAL!
Imagine he’s going to a WEDDING. Oh, the dirty LOOKS he’ll receive! The PARIAH of his family!

INSTRUCTOR: At the Walforth Barber Academy, our credentialed graduates coif KINGS, POPES and EMPEROR-POPE-KINGS.
But I wouldn’t send a TWO-BIT BOULDER-LICKER into a carriage-filled ROADWAY wearing this cheapjack chop-job! Where is your PRIDE, sir!

STUDENT: The corpse kept shifting, sir. I did my level best.
Shall I take another go at him?
INSTRUCTOR: The head’s a lost cause. Let’s strip him down and begin the waxing test.
STUDENT: Okay this part’s pass/fail right?

{{Header: cut it close at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-Text: Walforth Barber Academy! WE BUY HAIRY CORPSES; enquire within.}}

#482; In which Hair is hacked at transcribed by in

INSTRUCTOR: TERRIBLE. Terrible in every way. LOOK at this shoddy work.
His BANGS are crooked. SIDEBURNS look like spider's nests. Poor fellow might as well have stuck his head in the GARBAGE DISPOSAL!
Imagine he's going to a WEDDING. Oh, the dirty LOOKS he'll receive! The PARIAH of his family!

INSTRUCTOR: At the Walforth Barber Academy, our credentialed graduates coif KINGS, POPES and EMPEROR-POPE-KINGS.
But I wouldn't send a TWO-BIT BOULDER-LICKER into a carriage-filled ROADWAY wearing this cheapjack chop-job! Where is your PRIDE, sir!

STUDENT: The corpse kept shifting, sir. I did my level best.
Shall I take another go at him?
INSTRUCTOR: The head's a lost cause. Let's strip him down and begin the waxing test.
STUDENT: Okay this part's pass/fail right?

{{Header: cut it close at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-Text: Walforth Barber Academy! WE BUY HAIRY CORPSES; enquire within.}}

Walforth Barber Academy! WE BUY HAIRY CORPSES; enquire within.

#482; In which Hair is hacked at

  — January 20th, 2009

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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