Comic Transcripts

Official: Once your name is announced, you’ll cross the podium and stand next to Adams.
George Washington: …all I gotta do is just TOUCH my arm – and a million skin cells fly off. A MILLION of ’em! Jus’ hangin’ in the air! Probly breathin’ ’em up. You ever think of THAT

George Washington: AND? Did you know there are over six OCTILLION processes happening in your body every SECOND? If I had an electron microscope I could tell ’em THANKS! Thanks for all the HARD WORK! But I don’t. Cuz of MARTHA.

Soldier: They’re ready for the general outside.
Official: Tell the Senate he’ll be a few minutes. Also, find out where these BROWNIES came from.
George Washington: [[Turning away]] Woah, FOOD! When I eat a TWINKIE it turns into ME!

{{header: chillax at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: oh that hamilton what a prankster}}

#259; In which our First President is baked transcribed by in

Official: Once your name is announced, you’ll cross the podium and stand next to Adams.
George Washington: …all I gotta do is just TOUCH my arm – and a million skin cells fly off. A MILLION of ’em! Jus’ hangin’ in the air! Probly breathin’ ’em up. You ever think of THAT

George Washington: AND? Did you know there are over six OCTILLION processes happening in your body every SECOND? If I had an electron microscope I could tell ’em THANKS! Thanks for all the HARD WORK! But I don’t. Cuz of MARTHA.

Soldier: They’re ready for the general outside.
Official: Tell the Senate he’ll be a few minutes. Also, find out where these BROWNIES came from.
George Washington: [[Turning away]] Woah, FOOD! When I eat a TWINKIE it turns into ME!

{{header: chillax at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: oh that hamilton what a prankster}}

#259; In which our First President is baked transcribed by in

Official: Once your name is announced, you'll cross the podium and stand next to Adams.
George Washington: ...all I gotta do is just TOUCH my arm - and a million skin cells fly off. A MILLION of 'em! Jus' hangin' in the air! Probly breathin' 'em up. You ever think of THAT

George Washington: AND? Did you know there are over six OCTILLION processes happening in your body every SECOND? If I had an electron microscope I could tell 'em THANKS! Thanks for all the HARD WORK! But I don't. Cuz of MARTHA.

Soldier: They're ready for the general outside.
Official: Tell the Senate he'll be a few minutes. Also, find out where these BROWNIES came from.
George Washington: [[Turning away]] Woah, FOOD! When I eat a TWINKIE it turns into ME!

{{header: chillax at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: oh that hamilton what a prankster}}

oh that hamilton what a prankster

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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