Comic Transcripts

Wife: Did you hear? Jody had a baby! Seven pounds, three ounces, twenty inches long.
Husband: Wait, why do I care how LONG the baby was?

Husband: Who decided which random measurements would represent this newborn to the world? “We’ve birthed an offspring. The circumference of its head is 35 centimeters.”

Husband: “Its first bowel movement yielded 400 grams of excretum, having the viscosity of warm butter.”

Wife: You can’t do anything that anyone else does, can you.
Husband: “It’s got a ding-dong, but we should probably hold off on THOSE measurements for a couple years or so.”

{{header: measure up at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: ‘it exhibits a striking lack of comprehension of even the most rudimentary precepts of fire safety’}}

#230; In which an Infant is quantified transcribed by in

Wife: Did you hear? Jody had a baby! Seven pounds, three ounces, twenty inches long.
Husband: Wait, why do I care how LONG the baby was?

Husband: Who decided which random measurements would represent this newborn to the world? “We’ve birthed an offspring. The circumference of its head is 35 centimeters.”

Husband: “Its first bowel movement yielded 400 grams of excretum, having the viscosity of warm butter.”

Wife: You can’t do anything that anyone else does, can you.
Husband: “It’s got a ding-dong, but we should probably hold off on THOSE measurements for a couple years or so.”

{{header: measure up at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: ‘it exhibits a striking lack of comprehension of even the most rudimentary precepts of fire safety’}}

#230; In which an Infant is quantified transcribed by in

Wife: Did you hear? Jody had a baby! Seven pounds, three ounces, twenty inches long.
Husband: Wait, why do I care how LONG the baby was?

Husband: Who decided which random measurements would represent this newborn to the world? "We've birthed an offspring. The circumference of its head is 35 centimeters."

Husband: "Its first bowel movement yielded 400 grams of excretum, having the viscosity of warm butter."

Wife: You can't do anything that anyone else does, can you.
Husband: "It's got a ding-dong, but we should probably hold off on THOSE measurements for a couple years or so."

{{header: measure up at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: 'it exhibits a striking lack of comprehension of even the most rudimentary precepts of fire safety'}}

'it exhibits a striking lack of comprehension of even the most rudimentary precepts of fire safety'

#230; In which an Infant is quantified

  — September 15th, 2006

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/230/

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Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

May 8, 2026 by David Malki !

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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