#1372; First a Bang, Then a Whisper

Comic Transcripts

[[A press conference. ASAPH stands at a podium in front of several microphones, with a previous edition of The Headline Bugle newspaper framed on an easel next to him. The headline reads: GENIUS. The subheadline reads: “The idea just came to me,” says modern-day Prometheus. Two visible photographers, VIOLET and SEBASTIAN, and two out-of-frame persons, ORSAMUS and ZOPHAR, look on.]]

ASAPH: Thank you all for coming. As you recall, some years ago I proposed a method of eating Cheetos using chopsticks.
VIOLET: Genius!
SEBASTIAN: Life-changing.
ORSAMUS: It keeps the orange crap off your fingers!
ZOPHAR: Dude, we KNOW!

ASAPH: Now, after much study and experimentation, I’d like to present ANOTHER culinary revolution. Hit the music.

[[Water is shown pouring into an ice cube tray.]]

ASAPH: Tired of filling your ice cube tray at the sink and then spilling water everywhere before getting it into the freezer? NOW, a BETTER way! Simply put the tray in the freezer FIRST, then fill it with water from a Dixie cup! Or, use a funnel! They sell funnels with long flexible spouts at the GAS STATION next to the MOTOR OIL!

[[We zoom out to the press conference, and see that the image of the filling ice cube tray is on the easel where the newspaper was previously pictured.]]

ASAPH: Thank you. We will not have any Q & A time as questions are unnecessary. You have each been given a flash drive with print-res photos and sample prewritten copy for your articles. Last time I got the front page…can we do even BETTER somehow? Let’s HACK THE FUTURE…TOGETHER. Also, blockchain. Thank you.

CAPTION: Soon.
[[We see another issue of The Headline Bugle. The headline reads: SOPHOMORE SLUMP? The subheadline reads: Inventor’s lackluster followup gets icy reception. Asaph indignantly remarks from out-of-frame.]]
ASAPH: Aw, COME ON!

[[OTHNIEL and Asaph converse, as Asaph holds the offending newspaper.]]

OTHNIEL: Hey, sometimes you’re the hottest thing around, and then you’re not anymore.
ASAPH: And what HAPPENS when something is NO LONGER HOT? IT DOES MY THING!! IT FREEZES!!!

#1372; First a Bang, Then a Whisper transcribed by in

[[A press conference. ASAPH stands at a podium in front of several microphones, with a previous edition of The Headline Bugle newspaper framed on an easel next to him. The headline reads: GENIUS. The subheadline reads: "The idea just came to me," says modern-day Prometheus. Two visible photographers, VIOLET and SEBASTIAN, and two out-of-frame persons, ORSAMUS and ZOPHAR, look on.]]

ASAPH: Now, after much study and experimentation, I'd like to present ANOTHER culinary revolution. Hit the music.

[[Water is shown pouring into an ice cube tray.]]

[[We zoom out to the press conference, and see that the image of the filling ice cube tray is on the easel where the newspaper was previously pictured.]]

ASAPH: Thank you. We will not have any Q & A time as questions are unnecessary. You have each been given a flash drive with print-res photos and sample prewritten copy for your articles. Last time I got the front page...can we do even BETTER somehow? Let's HACK THE FUTURE...TOGETHER. Also, blockchain. Thank you.

CAPTION: Soon.
[[We see another issue of The Headline Bugle. The headline reads: SOPHOMORE SLUMP? The subheadline reads: Inventor's lackluster followup gets icy reception. Asaph indignantly remarks from out-of-frame.]]
ASAPH: Aw, COME ON!

[[OTHNIEL and Asaph converse, as Asaph holds the offending newspaper.]]

OTHNIEL: Hey, sometimes you're the hottest thing around, and then you're not anymore.
ASAPH: And what HAPPENS when something is NO LONGER HOT? IT DOES MY THING!! IT FREEZES!!!

I suppose it depends on the shape of your freezer.

#1372; First a Bang, Then a Whisper

— January 19th, 2018

[ Tags: dining, solutions ] Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1372/

See the making of this particular strip on Patreon!

Buy a Print

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one, except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.

Comic Transcripts

#1372; First a Bang, Then a Whisper

— January 19th, 2018

Event alert!

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