Comic Transcripts

[[Two people are discussing a soccer game.]]
Soccer Fan: Did you catch the soccer game? We CRUSHED them! We DESTROYED them!
Pacifist: I did not. The aggression makes me uncomfortable.

Pacifist: The whole POINT is to PENETRATE your enemy’s defenses and VIOLATE his sanctum!
Pacifist: You and your GANG DRIVE some OBJECT into a PROTECTED AREA – over STRENUOUS OBJECTIONS! – and are REWARDED for it!

[[The pacifist, fist clenched, looks towards the sky pensively.]]
Pacifist: Why can’t we RECONSIDER this? What if the ball is SACRED? You’re trying to RESCUE it from those who would DEFILE it…
Pacifist: The goal ISN’T the ENEMY’S HOLY OF HOLIES that you’re FORCING FOREIGN ITEMS into… it’s YOURS!
Pacifist: If you can only SECURE this TREASURE in your HOME TEMPLE – it’ll be safe from those BARBAIANS who would STEAL IT for their OWN!

Pacifist: I can get behind soccer as a RESCUE MISSION. I’d rather cheer for a team of SAVIORS than a MOB of DEPRAVED DEFILERS!
Soccer Fan: But why is there a stranger with gloves trying to STOP you from getting the SACRED ORB near your OWN temple?
Pacifist: Seriously!
Pacifist: HE is the MEANEST GUY in SOCCER

{{header: play ball at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The bad guys all hang out near our house probably because they know we gotta come back home sometime! We should probably do the same for them!}}

#1039; A Morally Pitched Battle transcribed by in

[[Two people are discussing a soccer game.]]
Soccer Fan: Did you catch the soccer game? We CRUSHED them! We DESTROYED them!
Pacifist: I did not. The aggression makes me uncomfortable.

Pacifist: The whole POINT is to PENETRATE your enemy’s defenses and VIOLATE his sanctum!
Pacifist: You and your GANG DRIVE some OBJECT into a PROTECTED AREA – over STRENUOUS OBJECTIONS! – and are REWARDED for it!

[[The pacifist, fist clenched, looks towards the sky pensively.]]
Pacifist: Why can’t we RECONSIDER this? What if the ball is SACRED? You’re trying to RESCUE it from those who would DEFILE it…
Pacifist: The goal ISN’T the ENEMY’S HOLY OF HOLIES that you’re FORCING FOREIGN ITEMS into… it’s YOURS!
Pacifist: If you can only SECURE this TREASURE in your HOME TEMPLE – it’ll be safe from those BARBAIANS who would STEAL IT for their OWN!

Pacifist: I can get behind soccer as a RESCUE MISSION. I’d rather cheer for a team of SAVIORS than a MOB of DEPRAVED DEFILERS!
Soccer Fan: But why is there a stranger with gloves trying to STOP you from getting the SACRED ORB near your OWN temple?
Pacifist: Seriously!
Pacifist: HE is the MEANEST GUY in SOCCER

{{header: play ball at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The bad guys all hang out near our house probably because they know we gotta come back home sometime! We should probably do the same for them!}}

#1039; A Morally Pitched Battle transcribed by in

[[Two people are discussing a soccer game.]]
Soccer Fan: Did you catch the soccer game? We CRUSHED them! We DESTROYED them!
Pacifist: I did not. The aggression makes me uncomfortable.

Pacifist: The whole POINT is to PENETRATE your enemy's defenses and VIOLATE his sanctum!
Pacifist: You and your GANG DRIVE some OBJECT into a PROTECTED AREA - over STRENUOUS OBJECTIONS! - and are REWARDED for it!

[[The pacifist, fist clenched, looks towards the sky pensively.]]
Pacifist: Why can't we RECONSIDER this? What if the ball is SACRED? You're trying to RESCUE it from those who would DEFILE it...
Pacifist: The goal ISN'T the ENEMY'S HOLY OF HOLIES that you're FORCING FOREIGN ITEMS into... it's YOURS!
Pacifist: If you can only SECURE this TREASURE in your HOME TEMPLE - it'll be safe from those BARBAIANS who would STEAL IT for their OWN!

Pacifist: I can get behind soccer as a RESCUE MISSION. I'd rather cheer for a team of SAVIORS than a MOB of DEPRAVED DEFILERS!
Soccer Fan: But why is there a stranger with gloves trying to STOP you from getting the SACRED ORB near your OWN temple?
Pacifist: Seriously!
Pacifist: HE is the MEANEST GUY in SOCCER

{{header: play ball at WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: The bad guys all hang out near our house probably because they know we gotta come back home sometime! We should probably do the same for them!}}

The bad guys all hang out near our house probably because they know we gotta come back home sometime! We should probably do the same for them!

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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