Comic Transcripts

[[A guy with a Napoleon III mustache is consulting a newspaper and speaking with a fellow sporting epaulets.]]

FAUXPOLEON: I heard — and I don’t know if it’s true — that DOGS are just genetically modified HUMAN INFANTS. Isn’t that OUTRAGEOUS? Who DID that? What ELSE don’t we know about dogs??

E’PAUL: That is not true.

FAUXPOLEON: I don’t KNOW if it’s true or not. But just think of what it MEANS! People EXPERIMENTING on BABIES!

E’PAUL: Indeed. Good thing it’s not true!

FAUXPOLEON: You gotta ADMIT that it’s SCARY to think about!

E’PAUL: As a thought experiment? Okay. As a falsehood examined AS a falsehood on its face? Okay.

E’PAUL: As a valid piece of actual real information worth debating as if it WERE true when it is demonstrably NOT? No.

FAUXPOLEON: It MIGHT be true!

E’PAUL: It is not.

FAUXPOLEON: It might be SOMEDAY.

E’PAUL: Okay.

FAUXPOLEON: What should we DO about it?

E’PAUL: Nothing.

FAUXPOLEON: You’re so PASSIVE. You never want to take a STAND.

E’PAUL: For… for DOGS BEING INFANTS? This is the hill you want to die on, huh

{{header: believe WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: No, not FOR dogs being infants! AGAINST it! I’m AGAINST IT, haven’t you been LISTENING}}

#1020; The Unknown Knowns transcribed by in

[[A guy with a Napoleon III mustache is consulting a newspaper and speaking with a fellow sporting epaulets.]]

FAUXPOLEON: I heard — and I don’t know if it’s true — that DOGS are just genetically modified HUMAN INFANTS. Isn’t that OUTRAGEOUS? Who DID that? What ELSE don’t we know about dogs??

E’PAUL: That is not true.

FAUXPOLEON: I don’t KNOW if it’s true or not. But just think of what it MEANS! People EXPERIMENTING on BABIES!

E’PAUL: Indeed. Good thing it’s not true!

FAUXPOLEON: You gotta ADMIT that it’s SCARY to think about!

E’PAUL: As a thought experiment? Okay. As a falsehood examined AS a falsehood on its face? Okay.

E’PAUL: As a valid piece of actual real information worth debating as if it WERE true when it is demonstrably NOT? No.

FAUXPOLEON: It MIGHT be true!

E’PAUL: It is not.

FAUXPOLEON: It might be SOMEDAY.

E’PAUL: Okay.

FAUXPOLEON: What should we DO about it?

E’PAUL: Nothing.

FAUXPOLEON: You’re so PASSIVE. You never want to take a STAND.

E’PAUL: For… for DOGS BEING INFANTS? This is the hill you want to die on, huh

{{header: believe WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: No, not FOR dogs being infants! AGAINST it! I'm AGAINST IT, haven't you been LISTENING}}

No, not FOR dogs being infants! AGAINST it! I'm AGAINST IT, haven't you been LISTENING

#1020; The Unknown Knowns

  — April 17th, 2014

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/1020/

“It still works as a parable.”

“There must be some distinction between a parable and simply a lie”

Buy a Print

Bolted! Fulfillment Update

May 25, 2026 by David Malki !
Photo courtesy of backer Nicola!

The vast majority of Bolted! game shipments are already shipped, but I understand if you don’t have yours yet, who cares. Here’s a progress report:

Total orders | 1052
Surveys completed | 992
Fully shipped | 946

Incomplete surveys

Obviously, if I don’t have your shipping address, I can’t ship your game! Let me know if you are missing a survey link. As new responses come in, they are rapidly added to the shipping queue.

Orders containing certain add-ons

Some of the add-ons proved more popular than expected — which is lovely! But it meant I had to reprint some stickers, make all the individual comic prints, request a shipment of books from offsite storage, etc, etc. So, any orders which contain an out-of-stock item are still waiting to ship.

All that missing stuff, though, is en route to me at this very second! So those orders will be going out pretty dang soon!

Custom items

I’ve already been in touch directly with the backers who ordered custom collages! Those will be created (and sent to you) after all the other shipments are complete. I’m excited for those, they’ll be fun! My pleasant dessert after the hearty meal of all the other orders.

Anything wrong?

I’m very grateful to the few folks who’ve contacted me to report some kind of issue with their shipment! Thankfully, problems are rare, but when they do occur, I would like to solve them. Please don’t hesitate to send me an email (replying to your shipping confirmation works great) if there’s anything about your order I can correct.

Reviews & photos

On BoardGameGeek are highly appreciated!

Unless you hate the game! You are entitled to that opinion, but please send that review directly to me instead of telling anyone else, so I can eat it and bury it in the yard and watch it grow into a twisted, gnarled tree. Or whatever!


Recent blog posts