Comic Transcripts

[[ELLE holds KEVIN by the hands.]]

ELLE: …Oh, look at the time!  I’d better be getting back, I’m about to turn into a pumpkin.

KEVIN: SERIOUSLY?

KEVIN: H-how does it HAPPEN? Do you turn into a PERSON-shaped pumpkin?  Does your FLESH turn into PUMPKIN FLESH?  What about your ORGANS?

KEVIN: Do your BONES break up into PUMPKIN SEEDS?  Does your hair twist and knot and pull itself up into a STEM?  Do you feel it HAPPENING?

KEVIN: Does it HURT?  Does it distend your body in way that trigger your pain response?  Or is this all somehow just a NATURAL FUNCTION for you?

KEVIN: Do you THINK like a pumpkin?  Do you lose the self-doubt of a person and begin to think mostly about the SUN and SOIL and SINCERITY?

KEVIN: I hope it’s not rude to ask!  It’s just such an unusal thing to encounter!  A PUMPKIN PERSON!

[[Abruptly, Elle is gone and Kevin is now holding a pumpkin.  It’s detached from any plant, is normally sized and shaped, and without blemish or dent.]]

KEVIN:  This is all so BIZARRE!  Where did all your WEIGHT go?  Is NINETY PERCENT of you in some kind of PUMPKIN DIMENSION?

KEVIN:  Will you change BACK?  What kind of SCHEDULE is this on?

KEVIN: Are you still SENTIENT in there? An expressionless consciousness TRAPPED in synapses of orange goo?  WAIT — if I cut you open, will you bee full of PUMPKIN, or VISCERA?  WHAT parts of the LADY become WHAT parts of the PUMPKIN?  OH NO!  Am I TOUCHING you INAPPROPRIATELY right now?

KEVIN:  I’m sorry!  I don’t know where I should and shouldn’t touch a lady-pumpkin!

[[MIKE enters.]]]

MIKE: Kevin, this is the LAST TIME I want to walk in on you TALKING EROTICALLY to a GOURD

{{header: late nights at WONDERMARK.COM}}

#978; In which the Hour draws near transcribed by in

[[ELLE holds KEVIN by the hands.]]

ELLE: ...Oh, look at the time!  I'd better be getting back, I'm about to turn into a pumpkin.

KEVIN: SERIOUSLY?

KEVIN: H-how does it HAPPEN? Do you turn into a PERSON-shaped pumpkin?  Does your FLESH turn into PUMPKIN FLESH?  What about your ORGANS?

KEVIN: Do your BONES break up into PUMPKIN SEEDS?  Does your hair twist and knot and pull itself up into a STEM?  Do you feel it HAPPENING?

KEVIN: Does it HURT?  Does it distend your body in way that trigger your pain response?  Or is this all somehow just a NATURAL FUNCTION for you?

KEVIN: Do you THINK like a pumpkin?  Do you lose the self-doubt of a person and begin to think mostly about the SUN and SOIL and SINCERITY?

KEVIN: I hope it's not rude to ask!  It's just such an unusal thing to encounter!  A PUMPKIN PERSON!

[[Abruptly, Elle is gone and Kevin is now holding a pumpkin.  It's detached from any plant, is normally sized and shaped, and without blemish or dent.]]

KEVIN:  This is all so BIZARRE!  Where did all your WEIGHT go?  Is NINETY PERCENT of you in some kind of PUMPKIN DIMENSION?

KEVIN:  Will you change BACK?  What kind of SCHEDULE is this on?

KEVIN: Are you still SENTIENT in there? An expressionless consciousness TRAPPED in synapses of orange goo?  WAIT -- if I cut you open, will you bee full of PUMPKIN, or VISCERA?  WHAT parts of the LADY become WHAT parts of the PUMPKIN?  OH NO!  Am I TOUCHING you INAPPROPRIATELY right now?

KEVIN:  I'm sorry!  I don't know where I should and shouldn't touch a lady-pumpkin!

[[MIKE enters.]]]

MIKE: Kevin, this is the LAST TIME I want to walk in on you TALKING EROTICALLY to a GOURD

{{header: late nights at WONDERMARK.COM}}

The pumpkin is placed on a velvet cushion. An ornate sign reads 'The Pumpkin That Was A Lady.' Viewers wonder if she can hear them; if she knows they are there; if she remembers or thinks of or feels anything at all. She cannot; she does not; she does, she does, she does.

#978; In which the Hour draws near

  — November 1st, 2013

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/978/

Buy a Print

New ways to get Bolted!

July 24, 2026 by David Malki !

In addition to buying things directly from me, the normal way, my game Bolted! is also now available on Amazon dot com.

On that famous website, you can also get the Creature-Crafting Magnets Set, which is made of the same artwork from the game, but is just a weird little trinket (not a playable game).

My kiddo made the elaborate version below to show off just how many magnets you get in the set (it’s 150 pieces in all — this isn’t even all of them).

Also now on Amazon is my set of Multi-Purpose Greeting Cards — a full dozen cards with envelopes in a fancy, unbranded, foil-stamped box!

Event alert!

I’ll also be showing off Bolted! at Greenwood Games, an event in Seattle this Saturday:

Greenwood Games is a free, all-ages community game event that invites players to spend the afternoon walking Greenwood Avenue from 65th to 80th, collecting clues, cracking puzzles, and discovering games made right here in Washington.

Think of it as Pride Hop, ArtWalk, and the Gumshoe all rolled into one,  except the whole thing is built around games and puzzles.​

Local game designers will be set up at different places along Greenwood Avenue in Phinney Ridge (near Ballard). My specific spot will be the “Holy Mountain Phinney Ridge Taproom”. All the information about all the different games & venues is on the website!

(If you’re in Seattle generally but not free tomorrow, Bolted! is also stocked at Blue Highway Games in Queen Anne.)

Next week, I’ll be at Gen Con! I personally will be hanging with my buddy Sam Logan at BFE Webcomics, booth #1217… but I have it on good authority that copies of Bolted! will be available at the CRWN Studios booth, #2549.

Visit one booth! Then the other! The order…is up to you.


Recent blog posts