Comic Transcripts

I WENT TO A CONVENTION TO ASK WINSLOW OGLETHORPE TO SIGN THIS NEEDLEPOINT I MADE OF HIM…
SIR WINSLOW OGLETHORPE? THE WORLD’S MOST HANDSOME ACTOR?
THE SAME.
BUT HE WANTED FIFTY BUCKS! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

FIFTY BUCKS JUST TO SIGN HIS NAME!
THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS! I’LL SIGN HIS NAME FOR TWENTY-FIVE!
HECK, I’LL SIGN ANY NAME YOU LIKE!
BUT YOU’RE NOT WINSLOW OGLETHORPE.

SO? THE SIGNATURE ITSELF IS IMMATERIAL. I COULD TAKE THE NEEDLEPOINT AND TELL YOU I GOT OGLETHORPE TO SIGN IT. YOU’D NEVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!
AND NEITHER WOULD ANYONE WHO SAW IT FRAMED ON YOUR WALL!
IT’S NOT LIKE HIS PEN HAS SPECIAL INK THAT HEALS THE SICK. IT’S JUST A SHARPIE.

ALL YOU’D HAVE TO DO IS, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, LIE AND SAY IT’S THE REAL SIGNATURE. EVENTUALLY YOU’D PROBABLY EVEN START BELIEVING THAT IT WAS!
I’M NOT SURE I WANT TO SAVE TWENTY-FIVE BUCKS THAT BADLY.
FINE I’LL DO IT FOR FREE

{{header: scrawl on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Listen I’m getting sick and tired of you pressuring me into letting you autograph all my needlepoints!}}

#832; The Pseudograph Hound transcribed by in

I WENT TO A CONVENTION TO ASK WINSLOW OGLETHORPE TO SIGN THIS NEEDLEPOINT I MADE OF HIM…
SIR WINSLOW OGLETHORPE? THE WORLD’S MOST HANDSOME ACTOR?
THE SAME.
BUT HE WANTED FIFTY BUCKS! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

FIFTY BUCKS JUST TO SIGN HIS NAME!
THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS! I’LL SIGN HIS NAME FOR TWENTY-FIVE!
HECK, I’LL SIGN ANY NAME YOU LIKE!
BUT YOU’RE NOT WINSLOW OGLETHORPE.

SO? THE SIGNATURE ITSELF IS IMMATERIAL. I COULD TAKE THE NEEDLEPOINT AND TELL YOU I GOT OGLETHORPE TO SIGN IT. YOU’D NEVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!
AND NEITHER WOULD ANYONE WHO SAW IT FRAMED ON YOUR WALL!
IT’S NOT LIKE HIS PEN HAS SPECIAL INK THAT HEALS THE SICK. IT’S JUST A SHARPIE.

ALL YOU’D HAVE TO DO IS, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, LIE AND SAY IT’S THE REAL SIGNATURE. EVENTUALLY YOU’D PROBABLY EVEN START BELIEVING THAT IT WAS!
I’M NOT SURE I WANT TO SAVE TWENTY-FIVE BUCKS THAT BADLY.
FINE I’LL DO IT FOR FREE

{{header: scrawl on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Listen I’m getting sick and tired of you pressuring me into letting you autograph all my needlepoints!}}

#832; The Pseudograph Hound transcribed by in

I WENT TO A CONVENTION TO ASK WINSLOW OGLETHORPE TO SIGN THIS NEEDLEPOINT I MADE OF HIM...
SIR WINSLOW OGLETHORPE? THE WORLD'S MOST HANDSOME ACTOR?
THE SAME.
BUT HE WANTED FIFTY BUCKS! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

FIFTY BUCKS JUST TO SIGN HIS NAME!
THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS! I'LL SIGN HIS NAME FOR TWENTY-FIVE!
HECK, I'LL SIGN ANY NAME YOU LIKE!
BUT YOU'RE NOT WINSLOW OGLETHORPE.

SO? THE SIGNATURE ITSELF IS IMMATERIAL. I COULD TAKE THE NEEDLEPOINT AND TELL YOU I GOT OGLETHORPE TO SIGN IT. YOU'D NEVER KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!
AND NEITHER WOULD ANYONE WHO SAW IT FRAMED ON YOUR WALL!
IT'S NOT LIKE HIS PEN HAS SPECIAL INK THAT HEALS THE SICK. IT'S JUST A SHARPIE.

ALL YOU'D HAVE TO DO IS, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, LIE AND SAY IT'S THE REAL SIGNATURE. EVENTUALLY YOU'D PROBABLY EVEN START BELIEVING THAT IT WAS!
I'M NOT SURE I WANT TO SAVE TWENTY-FIVE BUCKS THAT BADLY.
FINE I'LL DO IT FOR FREE

{{header: scrawl on WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{alt-text: Listen I'm getting sick and tired of you pressuring me into letting you autograph all my needlepoints!}}

Listen I'm getting sick and tired of you pressuring me into letting you autograph all my needlepoints!

Applications open for Genius Northwest – an IRL gaming competition

Last year, I participated in Genius Northwest, a gaming competition inspired by the Korean gameshow The Genius and its ilk.

It’s a reality show without the cameras — a 3-day, all-inclusive weekend retreat structured around a series of challenges and puzzles, in which personalities and dealmaking matter as much as playing games.

It’s truly a remarkable thing. I came in dead last in the competition, but I still had a great time participating.

The event is held annually in the Pacific Northwest (hence the name) and applications are now open to participate in the 2026 competition!

Learn more — and apply — at GeniusNW.com.


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