Comic Transcripts

EVERETT: Yes, sir. You had a complaint?
MALCOLM: I’d call it more of a suggestion.
Are you the guy to receive brilliant suggestions?
EVERETT: I do seem to have drawn the short straw.

MALCOLM: I’ve been in some pretty fancy public restrooms. Some have mood lighting. Others have creepy attendants.
Everyone’s got the basic plumbing needs pretty well covered.
But what’s the number one MOST BASIC thing all public restrooms should have, but NONE do?

MALCOLM: Really loud background noise. Like waterfalls, or jungle birds, or polka music, or all of the above.
Your restroom is a TOMB.
All hearing echoes of the guy three stalls down when he BLINKS.

MALCOLM: I can’t crap in a tomb. I can’t make any TRULY SATISFYING bowel progress if I can be HEARD.
EVERETT: Those of us who have to clean up after you would argue that that’s the POINT.

{{Header: got to go to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Yes I know they have all kinds of goofy toilet things in Japan.}}

#505; In which One cannot Let Loose transcribed by in

EVERETT: Yes, sir. You had a complaint?
MALCOLM: I’d call it more of a suggestion.
Are you the guy to receive brilliant suggestions?
EVERETT: I do seem to have drawn the short straw.

MALCOLM: I’ve been in some pretty fancy public restrooms. Some have mood lighting. Others have creepy attendants.
Everyone’s got the basic plumbing needs pretty well covered.
But what’s the number one MOST BASIC thing all public restrooms should have, but NONE do?

MALCOLM: Really loud background noise. Like waterfalls, or jungle birds, or polka music, or all of the above.
Your restroom is a TOMB.
All hearing echoes of the guy three stalls down when he BLINKS.

MALCOLM: I can’t crap in a tomb. I can’t make any TRULY SATISFYING bowel progress if I can be HEARD.
EVERETT: Those of us who have to clean up after you would argue that that’s the POINT.

{{Header: got to go to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Yes I know they have all kinds of goofy toilet things in Japan.}}

#505; In which One cannot Let Loose transcribed by in

EVERETT: Yes, sir. You had a complaint?
MALCOLM: I'd call it more of a suggestion.
Are you the guy to receive brilliant suggestions?
EVERETT: I do seem to have drawn the short straw.

MALCOLM: I've been in some pretty fancy public restrooms. Some have mood lighting. Others have creepy attendants.
Everyone's got the basic plumbing needs pretty well covered.
But what's the number one MOST BASIC thing all public restrooms should have, but NONE do?

MALCOLM: Really loud background noise. Like waterfalls, or jungle birds, or polka music, or all of the above.
Your restroom is a TOMB.
All hearing echoes of the guy three stalls down when he BLINKS.

MALCOLM: I can't crap in a tomb. I can't make any TRULY SATISFYING bowel progress if I can be HEARD.
EVERETT: Those of us who have to clean up after you would argue that that's the POINT.

{{Header: got to go to WONDERMARK.COM}}
{{Alt-text: Yes I know they have all kinds of goofy toilet things in Japan.}}

Yes I know they have all kinds of goofy toilet things in Japan.

#505; In which One cannot Let Loose

  — April 7th, 2009

[ Tags: , , ]       Permalink: https://wondermark.com/c/505/

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20 years ago (in photocomic form)

June 9, 2026 by David Malki !
A young David Malki !, Steve Carey, and Ryan North, June 2006.

The computers tell me it was 20 years ago, June 9, 2006, that I arrived in New York for my first-ever comic convention as an exhibitor, MoCCA.

It was an important trip for me, a milestone in what would go on to become my career.

I wrote a little reminiscence on Patreon (free/unlocked) — including a first-since-then reprint of the photocomics I made at the time, documenting the trip!

Read the rest here: [ 20 Years Ago (In Photocomic Form) ]


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