What does Google think of the U.S. states?

“can”:

Alabama can teach us ethics
Alaska can be hazardous because of dangerous game
Arizona can lead the nation in K-12 academic performance
Arkansas can elect to conduct drug testing but it is not required by OSHA
California can solve its problem by adding a $2 tax to gasoline bought in CA

“can’t”:

Colorado can’t wait for [the] federal government to stop illegal immigrants
Connecticut can’t afford the same to happen to its probate courts
Delaware can’t control whether there’s a crisis or a scandal
Florida can’t cut corners in death cases
Georgia can’t get over hump against Hokies

“is”:

Hawaii is not legally a state
Idaho is the only state that was possibly named as the result of a hoax
Illinois is not even close to the nation’s most-corrupt state
Indiana is the project name for an open source community effort
Iowa is proud of Tom Vilsack

“isn’t”:

Kansas isn’t so bad
Kentucky isn’t burning anymore
Louisiana isn’t the only state taking a swing at sovereignty issues right now
Maine isn’t known for traditional BBQ
Maryland isn’t shutting the door on its death row–yet!

“fears”:

Massachusetts fears foreign paupers
Michigan fears the sweater vest
Minnesota fears a “just glad to be here” complacency this week
Mississippi fears being forgotten
Missouri fears repeat of ’93 floods

“welcomes”:

Montana welcomes decision to remove gray wolf from threatened list
Nebraska welcomes human and avian out-of-towners
Nevada welcomes large and small businesses with no state income or inventory taxes
New Hampshire welcomes its first green full-service gas station
New Jersey welcomes new boat show

“may”:

New Mexico may legislate comeback for ninth planet Pluto
New York may be among the least lonely places on earth
North Carolina may ban hallucinogenic herb Salvia
North Dakota may legalize hemp cultivation
Ohio may change seat-belt law to reap federal highway funds

“loves”:

Oklahoma loves George Washington
Oregon loves its ladies’ rock
Pennsylvania loves to lock up its citizens
Rhode Island loves its coffee milk
South Carolina loves violence, especially when it’s called war

“hates”:

South Dakota hates university presidents
Tennessee hates illegal drugs
Texas hates voters
Utah hates video games
Vermont hates fast-food as much as it likes hunting

“will never”:

Virginia will never have all public safety in the same frequency band
Washington state will never pass on an oportunity to collect money from its citizens
West Virginia will never be able to afford the death penalty
Wisconsin will never catch the likes of Illinois and Iowa when it comes to production of corn-based ethanol
Wyoming will never be able to manage wolves.


  • http://joshreads.com jfruh

    Everyone ought to fear the sweater vest, if they know what’s good for them.

  • ogle

    food causes acne
    children are scary
    baby carrots are not what you think they are
    google hates america
    my mother is a fish
    the web is down

  • ames

    mmmm, coffee milk. I’ve been away from New England for six years now, and I still long for Autocrat Coffee Milk.

  • http://www.skindeepcomic.com KoryBing

    The one for Missouri is actually super accurate! ’93 was an awful year for flooding and it’s not something we want to experience any time soon. I remember my sister having to walk through knee-deep water in waders just to go to Junior Prom.

  • http://recent.cityintherain.com Rachel

    Interesting! What was the form of your search queries here, if you don’t mind my asking? Professional curiosity.

  • Will

    New York has adopted “The Safety Dance” as the state song
    Massachusetts has banned pronunciation of the letter R
    Colorado has been overrun by the Boring
    North Carolina hasn’t met an herb it didn’t smoke
    New Mexico wants to put Chevy Chase on Mt. Rushmore